Should I still try?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I still try?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2020 at 2:52 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    JoeGoldberg
    JoeGoldberg
    Participant
    January 26, 2020 at 6:06 am #228420
    Should I still try?

    I started liking a girl, who is my friend for half a year now. I probably told this not at the best time, but I didn’t want to wait any longer. Her answer was very obscure, but I just assumed that she only liked me as a friend. When I told my friends about this they told me to just ask her if she likes me, so when I felt comfortable enough I did and she said that she doesn’t want to give an answer. Again I thought that she only liked me as a friend, but the next time we hanged out she kept on saying things like “having a girlfriend is annoying”,”I have trust issues so I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend right now” so I just asked her (probably overthinking a little) are these just excuses for me not to date you, because you don’t want to simply say “I don’t like you” (I said it casually, kind of like a joke). She told me that she wouldn’t lead me on if she disliked me, but she can’t date me right now and she thinks it’s because she hasn’t gotten over her ex. Should I still keep on trying?

    JoeGoldberg
    JoeGoldberg
    Participant
    January 26, 2020 at 6:07 am #228421

    oh and she has a bad history of guys making her start to like them and then leaving her or just lying to her

    billvm
    billvm
    Participant
    January 27, 2020 at 8:19 am #228426

    Seems to me she is ambivalent right now. Still feeling her trust was violated regarding her ex. And she has told you as much, Just as you have told her how you feel about her. Likely afraid if she enters into a new relationship (you) it will happen again. She will be again rejected. You’ve done well in letting your feelings for her be known. I would recommend you let her know you want to be with her to support her through this hurt she is going through and tell her that trust is earned and you would like to earn her trust when she is ready. In your actions as a friend, it should evolve into something more. Or, it it does not, there are underlying issues which she is not disclosing. In which case, you have to move on and let her know that. So she will then show her hand.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 27, 2020 at 9:41 am #228444

    ”I have trust issues so I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend right now”
    “..she can’t date me right now and she thinks it’s because she hasn’t gotten over her ex..”

    In order for (her) to be “the one” she would have to see (you) as being “the one”.
    At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually wants to be with you!

    Appreciate and respect {her honesty} and then move on.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

    Best wishes!

    lenovo85
    lenovo85
    Participant
    January 29, 2020 at 6:58 am #228570

    I once got together with a friend i’d know for 10 years….it didnt work out and we dont talk anymore. I’d never get into a relationship with a friend again if i’ve know them for over a year, 6 months isnt much of a life investment but you’re choice to persue

    TrueGUy
    TrueGUy
    Participant
    February 1, 2020 at 2:29 pm #228771

    she kept on saying things like “having a girlfriend is annoying”,”I have trust issues so I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend right now”

    She told me that she wouldn’t lead me on if she disliked me, but she can’t date me right now and she thinks it’s because she hasn’t gotten over her ex. Should I still keep on trying?

    These comments are Womanese for: You’re a nice person, BUT, my attraction level for you is at around 0.0 out of 10. Women don’t say ‘no’ directly to us, they always use round about ways to refuse our advance. They just hope that guys get the hints.

    A woman with a high attraction level for you, that is something higher than 0.0, would like to date you. This woman has said in Womanese that she is not interested in you romantically. So now there’s no need to keep on trying with this girl, move on to the next pretty lady.

    Good luck

    makis2404
    makis2404
    Participant
    February 3, 2020 at 2:54 am #228799

    Firstly excuse me for not so good using my enlgish writting beacause I am from a European country whithout so much knowledge of english.
    Situation is simple! If you can date your friend to a place where you 2 can be alone so you could make some move like kissing say something like:
    Can I kiss you? If she says no then you say ok I just thought that you are thinking about it. Try little kino (touch politely her) to arms or soulder.
    After sometime go close and look at her lips. Take her hand with your hands and slowly try to kiss her without creeping her. I she refuse it just dont make it a thing. So you can know what is happening with her. Also you have pedestialised her. She is you only choice. So there are no much to do with her. Just try other girls.