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gamakichiParticipantOctober 13, 2018 at 1:11 pm #186987
I matched with a guy on Tinder on Monday, I sent the first message and we hit it off really well so I asked him out and we made plans to get dinner Wednesday night. The date went really well. He even mentioned some activities we could do next time. After dinner, he walked me to my car with his arm around me, he kissed me, and we ended up making out in the back of my car. He told me to text him when I got home so he would know I was safe. I texted him and thanked him again for a great night and he said that he also had a fun time. Today is Saturday and I haven’t heard anything from him since. Normally, I would be all for texting the guy first after the first date, but I already made the first move by initiating contact and asking him out. Should I text him first, and if yes, what should I say? Or should I wait for him, and drop it if he doesn’t text me at all?
franktParticipantOctober 14, 2018 at 7:47 pm #187005
You must have peaked his interest during the dinner date. I can determine that from the fact that he mentioned some future activity with you. Judging from my own motivations, when i ask a guy to let me know he got home safe that means i am interested in him/her. I can understand the hesitancy about initiating the contact once again, since the first meetup was under your suggestion. Take one of the activities he had mentioned (during the dinner date) and suggest that to him. Or, in an indirect non-pressure way, pick out one of those activities he mentioned, tell him that his suggestion was a great one, tell him that you will be doing it on a certain day and time, and make clear to him that you hope that sometime he could join you. That way you are leaving it up to him as to whether to join you. But, you are not directly asking him to join. He will have to contact you to find out how it went. If he does, he is chasing after you. You are being fun, and don’t “need” them.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by frankt.
MiaSaraParticipantOctober 15, 2018 at 9:36 am #187032
Personally, I wouldn’t text him. You reached out first and asked him out. You texted him that you arrived home safely. The ball is in his court. It is best to play it cool at this point. Believe me, if he is interested he will be texting to set up the next date. If not, move on. Plenty of fish in the sea – no need to chase after one if his interest is lukewarm.
dashingscorpioParticipantOctober 15, 2018 at 11:51 am #187038
No shouldn’t text him or wait for him to text you.
You’ve already made the first move and now the ball is in his court.
But don’t sit around waiting for his text or phone call.
You should be keeping your options open by going out with other guys!
No one goes to Sunday Champagne Brunch and only fills their plate at the first food station.
The truth is whenever you meet someone on an online dating site or app it’s foolish to act as if you’re in an “exclusive relationship”. Odds are he’s meeting with and going out with other women! There has been no commitment made or emotional investment. Just because he mentioned doing some (possible future activity) does not mean he was talking about the immediate future.
When a company is looking to fill a key position they always interview (multiple candidates) before making an offer to the best one. By the same token anyone looking for a job sends their resume out to (multiple companies) as opposed to waiting to see if the first company will hire them.
- This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by dashingscorpio.
whatamidoingParticipantOctober 17, 2018 at 1:25 pm #187272
I’d say, leave it a whole week and then message him again? if no reply after that then you know where you stand
richiroParticipantOctober 17, 2018 at 3:58 pm #187301
wait a bit. maybe reach out to him next week and see what’s up.
if he isn’t initiating at all – he’s not interested. sorry.
SammygirlParticipantOctober 29, 2018 at 2:40 pm #188110
Weird he hasn’t texted you. Probably been busy. No harm in shooting him a very casual text asking how his week has been
neptuneandtheseaParticipantOctober 30, 2018 at 6:39 pm #188217
I’m in a similar situation. I wouldn’t text him.
SectorParticipantNovember 4, 2018 at 6:27 am #188688
Sadly this story sounds like he reached his goal and he tried to end it gracefully with keeping options open for now. I wouldn’t text him either.
aray808311ParticipantJune 17, 2019 at 8:21 am #202203
yeah unfortunatly that may be true
evrythgnottoParticipantJuly 18, 2019 at 4:14 pm #203958
If you are doing all of the reaching out, he is probably not interested.
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