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hannahb0nanaParticipantJune 8, 2018 at 4:14 pm #176594
I met a great man & for the last 2 weeks we have been talking often & went on 1 date. A few days ago, after noticing a difference in the way he talks to me, I asked him if things were okay & he mentioned wanting to pause things because he is unhappy in his life & wants to make some changes. We are both approaching 30 & I live on my own, have a career, & am pursuing my master’s degree. He does not live on his own, does not like his job, & wants to start his master’s degree so he can do a job that he really enjoys. He told me that he thinks by the end of the summer he will be in a better place to date me. He said that he thinks he may have rushed into starting our relationship & would rather do this now where we can shift to being friends until he’s in a better place. He told me he does want to try things again later on & he does want to continue talking to me, learning more about me, & seeing me (on occasion) but not turn it into a serious relationship yet.
I want to wait but should I?
hannahb0nanaParticipantJune 8, 2018 at 4:17 pm #176596
I would like to add that since our conversation, he’s driven an hour to visit with me & has mentioned us spending time together in the upcoming weeks.
I’ve had a series of bad relationships previously so as hopeful as I am that he is sincere, I have anxiety that the more I learn about him & like him, the harder it will hurt if he either doesn’t feel like he’s reached a better place or he changes his mind about me during the wait.
dashingscorpioParticipantJune 10, 2018 at 1:35 pm #176636
Life is a personal journey! Forget what (He) wants!
What do (You) want? That’s the real question!
Lets examine what you’ve said; you met 2 weeks ago and after (one date), he said he wanted to “put things on pause”.
Note: He only said this (after) YOU noticed a “difference” in how he was talking to you.
If this guy were really “into you” he would not be giving you the old: “It’s not you it’s me.” routine.
Your having a career, living alone, and pursuing your Master’s degree has nothing to do with this. He’s just not into (you).
Kings have abdicated their thrones to be with women they love!
Having a crappy job and lacking a Master’s degree is not a relationship “deal breaker” for most people.
It would be foolish of you to but your life on hold while he’s out dating other women. Trust me he’s not going to become a monk.
Women have a tendency to “romanticize obstacles” when it comes to love/relationships. Don’t be gullible.
If a guy (wants to be with you) he will!
StarshipNomadParticipantJune 11, 2018 at 4:02 am #176655
I agree with dashingscorpio, I get where this man is coming from and more than likely he is intimidated by you and your independence. It really depends on if you want to wait, if you think he’s worth waiting for, and if you believe he’ll really ever find that happiness he’s looking for. What does your gut say about him? You’re still young, I really wish people would stop thinking thirty is old… It’s not! You still have your whole life ahead of you, don’t put yourself on hold if you don’t have to. Go with what you feel is best for you and your lifestyle.
mikahakaParticipantJune 12, 2018 at 6:47 am #176756
Interesting theme, I almost have the same…
I think it all depends on you…How special you think he is.
I would go out, enjoy life, maybe meet others, but It is not a must you start dating others, a few months is not a big time, howeeer this thing is just 2 weeks old between you, so very “juvenile”…He might not be that serious about it… :/
greenbookParticipantJune 15, 2018 at 1:13 am #177086
The thing that I wouldn’t do under ANY circumstances with this man is get physically intimate with him if you are wanting a long term committed relationship in your life. No friends with benefits.
hermeshecatonParticipantJune 15, 2018 at 3:57 pm #177197
Don’t wait, just go for it. Life is too damn short to wait for such things.
Mike2466ParticipantJune 23, 2018 at 3:06 pm #177818
Its always a good idea to try and find someone who is on the same page in life. Meeting someone new who is still figuring things out can complicate the situation.
johndoe5ParticipantJuly 3, 2018 at 3:40 pm #178652
It sounds like he’s got a good genuine interest in you and wants to do right.
If he’s not ready and you think he’s worth waiting for you can, however you shouldn’t close yourself off from other opportunities to find happiness with someone else who’s got their life in order now.
andrea_124ParticipantJuly 4, 2018 at 12:40 pm #178663
No. Live your life the way you used to before he came in. Don’t let him know his impact on you and you’ve been thinking of him. Show him how happy you are with or without someone. Basically just show him how you love yourself like you dont need him or anyone. Continue living your life. If you are still single when he comes back then maybe you can both try it. But I doubt.. because when people see you happy by yourself, with your life, it’ll made others want to become part of you life too.
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