Shy guy or disinterested?

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Shy guy or disinterested?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2020 at 7:14 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    290379_
    290379_
    Participant
    April 5, 2020 at 12:17 pm #232585
    Shy guy or disinterested?

    I met this guy on a night out at Uni, we have mutual friends so I vaguely knew who he was and vice versa. We were both with our friends and then we end up making out. We both had our first kiss and it was a great night. He’s naturally quite a shy guy although he’s part of quite an outgoing, popular group of friends. I got the feeling his friends wouldn’t leave him alone about what happened and I was told by a mutual friend that some of his guy friends had told him not to message me back.

    Anyway, we didn’t speak for a few days and then we both ended up at the same club again and the exact same thing happened all over. He was with his friends and I was with mine, he approached me and we went off together and had another great night in the club. Again, we walked back together but nothing happened after that. We didn’t talk for a few days and then at someone’s party we started chatting on our own for ages then ended up going back and making out again but nothing serious.

    290379_
    290379_
    Participant
    April 5, 2020 at 12:24 pm #232586

    Thing was, this all happened at the end of term. Everyone was leaving the next day. I messaged him to let him know I was going and I didn’t hear anything back. A few minutes later I’ve left and I get a message saying he didn’t reply because the wifi was bad where he was with his friends. I tell him its fine and wish him a good holiday. I didn’t get a reply back and I haven’t heard from him for weeks.

    I’ve just assumed he’s not interested anymore but part of me wonders if he’s just too shy to initiate further contact. Mutual friends have told me that he’s not great at messaging, he doesn’t have a lot of social media and he’s relatively shy in person. Thing is, I feel like if he really wanted to talk he’d have messaged me back. In the current situation it’s unlikely we’ll see each other for months until we both go back to Uni and I just don’t know how to feel about the situation. I feel a bit desperate messaging him but I felt like we really got on and I just want to know the truth.

    IloveCats
    IloveCats
    Participant
    April 6, 2020 at 1:09 pm #232598

    Disintresed.

    tephros
    tephros
    Participant
    April 6, 2020 at 7:06 pm #232604

    It’s kind of hard to say, but given the situation I wouldn’t worry about it right now if he’s far away. The fact that you both had your first kiss tells me he’s not very experienced at dating, so he probably really is shy. The last message you described doesn’t sound like one that demands a response, and even if he liked you he may realize nothing’s going to happen when you’re so far away from each other. Maybe ask him how his break went, and something interesting about your break, about a week before you would expect to be at the same place again. If he’s interested maybe things will happen when you’re both back at Uni. But don’t hold your breath over it.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 7, 2020 at 3:26 pm #232624

    “I feel like if he really wanted to talk he’d have messaged me back.”

    You are right!

    If you have to “figure out” if a guy is interested it usually means he’s not really into you.

    Other factors such as being immature and taking bad advice from his friends might come into play.
    For example his friends may have told him he shouldn’t contact or pursue you all that much.

    Believe it or not a lot girls LOVE guys who ignore them or keep them guessing.
    These women see these guys as being a “mystery” or “challenge”.
    Girls who are attracted to “bad boy” behavior don’t value love that comes easily.
    Some guys play games in order to keep women “reaching” or chasing after them.

    At any rate you shouldn’t be “waiting by the phone”!
    Life is too short for that kind of thing.
    Keep your options open by meeting and dating other guys.

    When a (man) truly likes a woman he’ll {make time} to be with that woman.

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    Tony22
    Tony22
    Participant
    April 8, 2020 at 6:39 am #232630

    If he’s a shy guy as you say I think he’s not had any or little dating experience if both had a first kiss with each other so it might be he doesn’t know, how to talk about his feelings with a girl

    Kicks818
    Kicks818
    Participant
    April 8, 2020 at 8:53 am #232636

    I agree with Tony22. As a shy person myself, it is difficult to express my emotions especially to women in attracted to.

    Tony22
    Tony22
    Participant
    April 21, 2020 at 4:32 am #232996

    Another thing you can do to know where he stands is making a move, if you like him a lot, tell him and see where it leads, that’ll surely let him out of his cage, its 2020 and there’s nothing wrong with that and if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings then it’s his loss and you can move on to the next.

    tobetobe
    tobetobe
    Participant
    April 21, 2020 at 8:34 am #232999

    Men are often clueless about what to do when they like a girl. If he’s as shy as you have mentioned, then he’s probably having a tough time processing his feelings about you. Probably he’s afraid that he might seem too desperate by texting you.

    My advice, ask him directly, talk to him, be the initiator. If he still seems disinterested, move on.

    hypergogeta
    hypergogeta
    Participant
    April 27, 2020 at 11:02 pm #233162
    Reply To: Shy guy or disinterested?

    instead of wasting your time on this, just tell him you like him and ask if he would like to go out with you then see what his answer is. if rejected, move on.

    wordlife98
    wordlife98
    Participant
    May 1, 2020 at 5:16 am #233236
    Reply To: Shy guy or disinterested?

    If he really is shy then maybe you can get the control in your hands and contact him and then later give it back to see if he is man enough

    Mwebaza
    Mwebaza
    Participant
    May 3, 2020 at 12:07 pm #233280
    Reply To: Shy guy or disinterested?

    He is shy??at that point utilize his telephone to get to his heart and control how he feels about you.These days, everyone has a mobile phone – not, now the gadget of the “young” age, PDAs are everywhere. Be that as it may, you MUST do the messaging and telephone calling the correct way. You will win him without him knowing.

    Kayah9
    Kayah9
    Participant
    May 7, 2020 at 6:01 pm #233504
    Reply To: Shy guy or disinterested?

    I feel your pain! I’m kinda in a similar situation and would love some male feedback please. Met this awesome guy online in March, he came on very strong, pursued me, we texted every day, shared pictures, even talked on the phone. We finally set up a face to face date last Friday, thought to everything went great, conversation flowed but it wasn’t and actual date because restaurants are still closed. Instead, we went for a walk, total time we spent together was about an hour and a half. We talked most of the time inside my car as well because it started getting windy. Anyway, it was time to go and he hugged me goodbye and left. I texted him when I got come saying “Really? No kiss?” And he replied back immediately “why didn’t you just tell me you wanted a kiss? I was trying to be respectful?” Anyway, I joked with him that life’s too short and he said that he’ll definitely go for it next time. Next day, since I hadn’t heard from him, I decided to text him “Hey handsome, hope you’re

    Kayah9
    Kayah9
    Participant
    May 7, 2020 at 6:02 pm #233505
    Reply To: Shy guy or disinterested?

    Having a great day!” And today is Thursday and he has ignored me ever since. I feel like I broke his manhood but I don’t know how to redeem myself??? Help please? Or is he just not into me???