Sleeping with him on the first date….

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Sleeping with him on the first date….

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    August 8, 2018 at 4:05 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    mah001
    mah001
    Participant
    May 6, 2018 at 10:45 pm #172323
    Sleeping with him on the first date….

    So I met this amazing guy online and we talked and text for over a month. We had great conversations but on occasions I would hear crickets meaning he would go a day or (12 to 14) hours and not text or call, once he went and entire day. For the most part, communication was consistent and steady with a few red flags. On our first date it was amazing and the chemistry was great. We had the best time and due to distance I spent the night and we ended up sleeping together. The next day, he asked to spend some time with him and told me throughout the morning how great I was and happy he was to meet me. We went fishing, out to eat, and strawberry picking that day. I left as soon as it was over (being fearful of wearing out my welcome). Afterwards, there was no follow up from him so I took the initiative to text him and I got an immediate response. Once again, he began to tell me how great I was.

    mah001
    mah001
    Participant
    May 6, 2018 at 11:00 pm #172324

    Afterwards, I went on vacation (which I planned two months prior to meeting him) to the beach not far from his place and he made several excuses as to why he couldn’t see me that week. But his texts messages were all verbalizing how great I am and how he wanted to be with me, and that I am the best woman he has ever been with, and that I am mind blowing in the bed and out. On the contrary, he makes excuses as to why he won’t see me again. So, I confronted him about his fear of intimacy in which he admitted. So I state to him, when your ready to deal with this challenge I’d be glad to be there for you (if I’m available) however, I’m not comfortable with the uncertainty meaning he cannot commit to another date, doesn’t call or text consistently. I confronted him a day ago (5-5-18) and now I’m back online but I cannot get him off my mind. My question is: Does him seeing me back online ruin my chances of ever hearing from him again, am I moving on too soon?

    clueless_4ever
    clueless_4ever
    Participant
    May 8, 2018 at 2:39 am #172485

    You did the right thing by standing your ground and telling him you won’t deal with uncertainty. You being back online is not moving too soon. There are plenty of guys out there. If it’s meant to be with this one, he will come look for you. But there are other guys out there who are ready to give you what you’re looking for. Distract yourself as much as you can from him. Just being online will help you realize there’s other great people out there.

    Motoman94
    Motoman94
    Participant
    May 9, 2018 at 12:10 pm #172672

    Personally I would never sleep with anyone on the first date.

    mah001
    mah001
    Participant
    May 10, 2018 at 9:21 am #172724

    Motoman94 I usually don’t. It had been awhile for both of us and we had chemistry like out of this world and unfortunately, it woke up a sleeping dragon lol. I have had to occupy myself and not think about it because were that great per his own admonition. This is the very reason why you do not sleep with someone on the first date and it sucks to be me right now but I’m managing.

    mah001
    mah001
    Participant
    May 10, 2018 at 9:21 am #172725

    Thanks, and that’s what I have been doing.

    jc
    jc
    Participant
    May 10, 2018 at 10:34 am #172766

    It doesn’t mean that he is not commiting to you because you slept with him on the first date. I once slept with someone on the first date and he keeps texting me. The problem I have is that I lost interest in him..dating is so hard…

    ekeBrown
    ekeBrown
    Participant
    May 11, 2018 at 4:31 am #172874

    what??… i dont really understand why you sleep with him knowing that you dont know him at all.

    pakster123
    pakster123
    Participant
    May 11, 2018 at 8:43 am #172877

    No. It’s fine. He needs to know that he needs to get his act together. You being online shows that if he doesn’t show commitment, you’re able to move on. I actually slept with my bf on the first date. He kept on saying he didn’t want a relationship. Eventually, I showed him that I could get guys without him and he finally got his sh** together. If he doesn’t ask for you or gives up on you that easily he honestly wasn’t worth it.