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[confusedgradstudentParticipant]

July 8, 2014 at 5:52 am #56850

slept with a good friend of 6 years and am now heartbroken, not sure what to do

Recently, I slept with a friend who I have known for 6 years and who knows almost everything about me. This year, we slept together (it was his suggestion to visit me). The first time, it didn’t seem as if our flirty friendship had changed too much. The second time, though, I stayed at his place for a week and somehow, things changed. We had unprotected sex in the heat of the moment, and after that, the sex was insanely passionate. We have always had a lot of fun together (we both think the other person is funny), but staying with him made me see other sides of him too: he is kind, patient, and thoughtful. The reason I didn’t see him as dating potential before is that I didn’t think he was mature enough. When I left and came home, we continued chatting for a few days and it was great but recently he has cooled off and doesn’t contact me unless I initiate. I am sad; I now have feelings for him. I don’t know if I should contact him or not! What if he thinks of me as just a friend?

[loveanonymousstyleParticipant]

July 8, 2014 at 3:14 pm #56924

Give him some space. Given your history he may feel overwhelmed and guys need time to process and catch up. As tough as it is give him a couple of weeks and if he hasn’t resurfaced than you have your answer. In the meantime keep busy and breathe. Take the couple of weeks to gain perspective. If he values your friendship and is truly thoughtful he will at a minimum reach out as your friend.

[confusedgradstudentParticipant]

July 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm #56926

Thank you! That’s exactly the reason that I haven’t been contacting him. It’s been a full week now though and the radio silence is killing me! It’s so hard! 🙁 I figured that if he liked me half as much as I like him, he’d at least want to talk to me.