So how do I start going on dates?

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So how do I start going on dates?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    KindLovingPerson
    KindLovingPerson
    Participant
    February 6, 2020 at 6:23 am #229092
    So how do I start going on dates?

    I’m a 23 year old man and have only dated one person before, we met on bumble a year ago and went out for a month and since then I’ve been in a dry spell. I really want to get out there and start dating because I know there are girls that will like me. I’m handsome, kind hearted, ambitious, the only problem is I’m kind of socially handicapped and don’t know where to start.

    I talk to my dad about this and he says I just need to focus on myself and girls will come to me. Although I have been focusing on myself for a while and still am on an ongoing journey every day to better myself and I think part of that journey is getting myself out there and starting the dating process. I think doing that would really help me grow as a person and not be so in my head all the time. It’s not like I’m always focused on girls and obsess over not getting dates. I’m always planning ahead, making sure I have a strong career path and working towards having a prosperous future for myself.

    My problem with not getting dates has just gone on for too long it seems. For the past 6 months all I’ve been doing is working and I haven’t made any time to just enjoy myself and live life. I feel like I deserve it. I just need some guidance. I just want to go on at least a few dates this year and meet new people.

    The only time I have sex is with prostitutes and whenever I do that I end up feeling really empty inside and just really crave an actual relationship. I know my question sounds stupid but I just need some advice.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 6, 2020 at 12:49 pm #229178

    “I’m a 23 year old man and have only dated one person before..”
    “I’m handsome, kind hearted, ambitious, the only problem is I’m kind of socially handicapped…”

    First of all being 23 just means you’ve been legally an adult for only 2 years.
    My guess is YOU have not ASKED that many women out on dates!

    There are 3 basic reasons why guys your age find themselves in this situation.

    1. They lack confidence/swagger when it comes to talking with women. (Essentially they’re not personable.)
    2. They don’t have any MALE friends who are doing well with ladies to party with and learn from.
    3. They insist on “aiming out of their league” instead of {practicing} with the available low hanging fruit.

    Confidence comes from having experienced success over and over again.
    Initially you have to “fake it” until you make it.
    Forget about your dad and find a male friend your age to hit the bars/nightclubs with.
    Sign up with a couple dating sites and join a few Meetup dot com groups.
    Ultimately it’s a numbers game. The more women you ask out the more women you’ll get to go out.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

    Ghost12345
    Ghost12345
    Participant
    February 6, 2020 at 4:30 pm #229174

    I used to be like you , constant dry spells and not enough dates etc. I find people to date regularly now (although holding onto an actual relationship is another matter) but I can tell you what I did to get to where I am which may help you somewhat. The only thing is, I’m female so just bear that in mind. Also bear in mind , that my actual dating history is a mess , I’ve made a lot of mistakes with the wrong people so proceed with caution ,my advice may not be the best.

    Firstly, I got active in dating apps ,consider POF and others. See it as a networking tool . Get your face out there, up to date pics etc.

    I started to accept invitations from friends to places I never usually bothered with . Change your routine, change your life. You never know who you’re going to meet. You may not meet a potential dating prospect BUT , you may meet new friends/acquaintances who will introduce you to dating prospects.
    This one really worked for me but it took a little while to work.

    Ghost12345
    Ghost12345
    Participant
    February 6, 2020 at 4:30 pm #229176

    I also did the ‘usual stuff’ – beca!me conscious/improved my appearance so I always looked approachable and we’ll groomed. Even if I was just popping t the shops. Believe me, people do take notice even if it’s not obvious at first. I also read up on a few things…like how to converse with strangers , how to modify my body language etc. (I’m terrible for folding my arms and giving off hostile vibes) so I fixed that.
    You say your kind of socially handicapped. Get practicing . Start with small steps, ask a stranger for the time , ask for directioms, walk into a bar and make small talk with the lonely looking guy next to you. doesn’t have to be a full blown conversation at first. Get your confidence up slowly in the socialising department. STICK WITH IT. Doing all the above for a week is no good , keep doing it. Eventually you’ll have a bigger network than you started with which means more opportunities and chances to meet dating prospects . It’s a numbers game my friend.

    singleguy
    singleguy
    Participant
    February 7, 2020 at 1:57 am #229223

    Try to find clubs that women are in. Volunteer – most volunteers are women. And please don’t visit prostitutes.

    weareacouple
    weareacouple
    Participant
    February 7, 2020 at 5:25 pm #229322

    we have been married for 25 years however we met using dating ads in the paper which are now dating sites like match

    JoseDePinho
    JoseDePinho
    Participant
    February 10, 2020 at 3:43 am #229343

    To make things easy, I recommend you going into a dating site or even go on Tinder

    Marshland
    Marshland
    Participant
    February 11, 2020 at 6:48 pm #229459

    At one point you need to pop the question. That may seem the hardest part but once you’ve got the first one out of the way, the rest should flow.

    Koolio14
    Koolio14
    Participant
    February 13, 2020 at 12:19 am #229562

    try to find a common interest with the person you want to go with and do that

    smartmouthedmuse
    smartmouthedmuse
    Participant
    February 14, 2020 at 1:13 pm #229674

    definitely start going back on the dating sites. Bumble is good because then the girls will come to you. Be kind in return. Encourage them. And meditate a little each day and SEE yourself going out on dates. Write it on pieces of paper and really believe that you are going. Visualization helps! And make time to do stuff you enjoy – maybe there’s a hiking group you can join? A friend of mine met someone she really likes doing that. Love yourself first and then you are lovable!

    And yes, for gods sake, stop with the prostitutes.

    Pink30
    Pink30
    Participant
    February 14, 2020 at 1:38 pm #229677

    Try POF

    alex2020
    alex2020
    Participant
    February 15, 2020 at 5:58 am #229699
    Reply To: So how do I start going on dates?

    Start tinder! Be patient though and keep trying!
    And don’t forget, tinder is superficial and looks are important! Make sure u got some nice pictures

    NotARobot
    NotARobot
    Participant
    February 16, 2020 at 4:55 am #229713
    Reply To: So how do I start going on dates?

    @KindLovingPerson Hate to tell you but your dad is right.

    Dude, there is a huge part of physical chemistry that makes attraction happen and ergo dating. There is a chemical everyone’s body produces called Pheromones which helps create attraction. until this can be reproduced electronically; online dating will never be able to really compete with real life. Socialize dude! This is why your Great-grandparents went to church; it’s one of the OG social sites ever, be a volunteer and impress women with your compassion and not how you can navigate your hand-held computer.

    Living life doesn’t mean that you are with someone; but I understand. The following has helped me, it is not an overnight remedy; it’s to meditate on

    To live your life for others; you must live your life for your self. (not a typo) You must be able to except yourself for your self before you can except others. You must love yourself for your self and don’t care what others think (that is the key to happiness)

    NotARobot
    NotARobot
    Participant
    February 16, 2020 at 5:00 am #229714
    Reply To: So how do I start going on dates?

    @WeAreACouple

    You give the next lecture, after that philosophy lesson; I’m dropping the mic . Haha!

    jnc07
    jnc07
    Participant
    February 16, 2020 at 9:19 am #229716
    Reply To: So how do I start going on dates?

    I’m a 23 woman and in the same exact position as you. I say try dating apps and go on a couple of dates from the women you meet there!

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