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whisperwillowParticipantJanuary 21, 2018 at 7:20 pm #162940
I haven’t had much experience with dating, but I’m beginning to notice I definitely have a particular type of guy I’m attracted to. They are tall and handsome to me, but professionally they are driven, ridiculously successful and very intelligent. I’m talking genius level, Good Will Hunting smart. I have been very fortunate to date and befriend men like this. Due to their successfulness they are very busy, which conflicts with my love language of quality time and physical touch. Moreover, they seem to have come to the conclusion that relationships aren’t _____. That’s why I’m seeking advise. Help me fill in the blank. When I discuss this with them, they say they’d love to be in a relationship, but some have resigned themselves to believing they will always be alone. These men are celibate, straight and some are gay. Also, what does it say about me, since this is the ONLY type of man I would even fantasize about settling down/building a life with? Thanks for your time and responses.
OzymandiasParticipantJanuary 22, 2018 at 2:11 am #162945
If I were one of these men I would probably fill the blank in with “Practical”.
A relationship in its true sense takes a lot of time and emotion. These are two of the most valuable items to the type of men you are after. They realize that being mortal creatures they have very little time to accomplish their goals and dreams and see a relationship of your particular caliber to require deep emotional connections which in addition to eating up time to build also makes them especially vulnerable in the long run. Emotional barriers are like castle walls, and any intelligent strategist knows that even letting your most trusted generals in the castle puts you at great risk. Men like this see a relationship as a serious investment. You will have to show them why they should marry you. Show them your loyalty and compassion, be truly interested in their goals and aspirations express you love. These men aren’t looking for just comfort. They need a permanent addition that adds value to life.
mhaigh_eoParticipantFebruary 8, 2018 at 6:54 am #164938
It’s ok to have a type. It means you clearly know what you want, and that’s good! But I feel like with this kind of ‘type’ you also need to be very patient. As you said, they are very busy and building a relationship takes time and investment. However, if they really like you, they WILL make time for you! But now here comes the tricky part.. they need to first like you enough to actually want to invest in you and that’s where the patience comes in. Try to focus on simply getting to know the guy, rather than aiming for a relationship straight away. So far I see that you’ve been very successful in this! Which is wonderful! So try to see it this way, if they don’t want to invest time in a relationship with you, they don’t want to and you deserve better! Just keep doing what you’re doing until one of them actually concludes that a relationship WITH YOU is definitely what he wants. In the meantime just try to keep your options open for other men too.. it shows that you’re in high demand
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