Stuck in no man's land


Stuck in no man's land

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    January 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm #192666
    Stuck in no man's land

    So I’m relatively new here but I’ve mentioned before I’m 33, tall, thin, I don’t thinm bad loiming but not great looking & need to get dental implants because my teeth suck.

    I’ve neveid have had a girlfriend.

    I have a thread about an issue I’ve got where I made this great connection with a coworker & after what I felt was numerous signs of interest suggested we talk outside work & have basically gotten the cold ahoulder with no reply since.

    Now my thread didn’t get a reply but I’m no dummy, regardless of the specifics she’s obviously not interested regardless of all our flirting.

    And that leads me to this..I’m confident, must have some sort of charm, def sense of humor..but I get rejected basically 100% and usually after forming a flirty friendship. So should I just never make a move? Cause when I make a move, it kills that friendship like this past 1.

    I clearly either have no idea what interest looks like or am just good enough to talk to but never seriously do anything with.

    January 18, 2019 at 3:08 am #192931

    “..So should I just never make a move? Cause when I make a move, it kills that friendship..”

    1. STOP hitting on your FRIENDS!

    Women hate to believe a guy is a “platonic friend” only to later discover he wants to have sex with them!
    It makes them wonder if you ever were their friend. No one likes dealing with people who have a hidden agenda.
    You’d be less offensive if you asked someone out early on and got rejected.
    Last but not least once you are in the “friend zone” it is close to impossible to get out of it.
    It’s far more easier for a former lover to become a friend than it is for a friend to become a lover!

    2. Go ahead and take care of your teeth especially if you believe they may be holding you back.
    Confidence increases whenever one believes they are looking their best.

    3. Consider approaching women in venues where they (expect) men to hit on them.
    Nightclubs, Happy Hours on Fridays in bars/hotel lounges/restaurants, and online dating sites and apps
    Join some Meetup dot com singles groups.

    January 18, 2019 at 10:29 am #192968

    I must have given the wrong idea-

    I don’t hit on women established as friends..what I’m saying is once I do make my intentions clear, then I get rejected AND miss out on friend zone. Like this coworker- she flirted heavily with me at first, and so after a few weeks of going back and forth I asked her out and not only did she not even answer me but she won’t look at me or talk to me at all.

    What I was saying is it sucks to not even be able to have a friend at least because jeez we still get along. But by no means were we established platonic friends- in fact we had never hung out when I made it clear I wanted to in a dating manner.

    Fixing teeth is easier said than done, but yes it has been and remains a priority.

    And yes I have tried dating sites and go out weekly and make approaches at clubs and bars, I just get rejected 100% of the time. I’ve made over probably 300 approaches, gosh maybe 500, in the last 10 years with no luck.

    January 21, 2019 at 4:21 pm #193077

    I like that list idea. I’m going to try it. Maybe it’ll help me visual some things better.

    As for work yes I have never wanted to or pursued a work thing but this one just came about so organically and I really thought she was into me. And maybe she was, idk, tend to figure she probably just doesn’t know how to politely reject me so she’s just avoiding it all together.

    But yes I generally try other venues to meet women for sure!