Surprise her after only 1 date?


Surprise her after only 1 date?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 16, 2017 at 11:35 am #136574
    Surprise her after only 1 date?


    I feel like I’m being a bit weird to be honest! But also have a very strong urge… and I’ve never considered doing this before…

    But I’m not some loser that’s been single forever. I’m a confident guy. I have two exes. I’m 32, from Manchester, UK.

    So…recently, I got back into online dating after breaking up with one of those exes. I have gotten quite a lot of phone numbers, and have been texting these girls. But theres one girl in particular…

    Since I got her number, she texted me every day for 4/5 weeks! It was almost always her who would initiate the texting. Sometimes multiple times a day. We’d text for hours sometimes! And I really enjoyed it. She had me in stitches a lot! And at the same time, I feel like she ‘gets’ me and my humour.

    We had one date after about 2 weeks. That date went really well. We kissed a couple of times too, were holding hands, etc……

    In the past week… she stopped texting (apart from 1/2 days where I initiated it)……

    May 16, 2017 at 11:37 am #136576

    Then out of the blue the other day, in the morning, I had a text that read “I’ve got to be honest with you. I’ve been on a couple of dates with someone closer to home. I imagine I’ll be seeing him again too. Im sorry”.

    She’s from Bradford, near Leeds, so there is some distance.

    We texted more. I asked her to be honest with me, I can handle it if she likes the other guy more… she said its just cus of the distance! We had been trying to arrange a date on a weekend for a while but its been hard… shes a single mum, with no help from the dad.

    I said, if it was going to go anywhere, I could get there atleast once a week, minimum. I don’t consider it that far. All my friends live an equal distance away.

    I want to stress… this girl feels really special! Theres something different about her! I know this is probably a bit weird, considering we’ve only been on 1 date, but thats how I feel.

    I said can I come up in a couple of days time. She said she didn’t think its a good idea….

    May 16, 2017 at 11:41 am #136582

    … after sleeping on it. Although the day I asked, she seemed torn, and told me I was making it hard (a good thing I guess? As she must have been considering it?).

    So the thing I’m considering doing, that I want to ask about, is….

    Should I do something romantic to show I could make it work with the distance? Specifically… I was thinking about going and showing up at her house, off the cuff, with a bunch of flowers or something? I don’t know where she lives though. I could ask… or I could just show up in Bradford then phone her?

    I feel like I have to try something, and not give up, because like I said… theres something different about her! I think about her an awful lot! (probably cus she’s texted every single day!).

    I did mention I had gotten a lot of numbers, and to be honest, I find the majority of those girls boring! And when one of them has wanted to stop talking… I haven’t been bothered! But this one is bothering me a lot :/

    Would appreciate any advice! Thanks.

    May 16, 2017 at 1:45 pm #136598

    Nevermind… I’m definately not going to do this… the above is just weird! And I had a moment of madness when I wrote that.

    But any suggestions as to what I could do are appreciated? Is it worth calling her?

    May 16, 2017 at 5:23 pm #136687

    Despite you saying that there’s “something different about her” that does not eliminate the fact that she has been open and honest with you in saying that she likes the other guy more. Why waste your efforts on someone who has shown you and bluntly admitted that they have chosen someone else over you? Don’t purchase the flowers or show up to her house! Let the other guy that she has chosen over you do those romantic gestures…that’s his job. Only go out of your way…for someone who does the same for you..a relationship can’t be one-sided. So put down your phone and save yourself and your heart some precious time and energy. She’s not worth it..pursue another woman who shows you the same effort and interest.

    May 19, 2017 at 8:20 pm #137043

    I have to agree with Louie97 on this one. She has honestly and politely stepped back. One sided relationships can be pretty painful.
    Even if other girls are boring, it doesn’t mean they will all be boring. Sooner or later you will find a great girl who makes you laugh and who you enjoy being with. It doesn’t mean if has to be her though.

    May 19, 2017 at 9:23 pm #137044

    I also agree with Louie97. It’s better to be honest and just thank her for the time spent. There are many other people out in the world and I’m sure you will find yours. 🙂

    May 21, 2017 at 4:46 pm #137088

    I’ve got to agree with my sister @louie97, hey girl! I just want to point out that just because you’ve been single forever doesn’t make you any less that what you are. I’m also not sure how much you are feeling this girl. You said that she did most of the texting. Could it be that she maybe thought you weren’t that interested? I don’t know. That’s just a suggestion.