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T0320ParticipantJanuary 18, 2019 at 1:55 am #192929
I met this girl in one of my classes, it took me a couple weeks to get the courage to talk to her but I did it eventually. One we both walked out of class together and I got her Snapchat so I could talk to her over winter break. It seemed fine at first, she seemed really interested in what I had to say and helped keep the conversation going, but one day she read a message and never replied. I left her alone for a week and then messaged her again and things seemed liked there were going great. But now I sent her a message and she never opened it, her score has gone up so it’s obvious she still uses the app. Can someone explain this to me and tell me how to move forward with this?
dashingscorpioParticipantJanuary 18, 2019 at 3:27 am #192933
Texting will never replace having actual phone conversations!
A person cannot hear your tone and inflection via text and emojis can only go so far.
If you want to go out with someone at some point you have to ask them out.
No one wants to write/read a “book” of texts.
Avoid the “Friend Zone” trap!
Too often “nice guys” pretend like they want to be “friends” with a girl they actually want to have sex with.
Once the girl discovers where they are really coming from they feel betrayed.
It is easier for an ex lover to become a friend than it is for a “friend” to become a woman’s lover.
The “friend zone” is for cowards who lack the nerve to make their romantic interests known.
Tell her you’d like to get to know her better.
Ask her out to lunch, the movies, or some other activity where there is not a lot of formal pressure
Stop fearing rejection. Everyone gets rejected either directly or indirectly. That’s life!
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by dashingscorpio.
simplemann28ParticipantJanuary 23, 2019 at 2:11 pm #193260
I would have gotten her phone number and called her just a couple of times to build report. i would have set a firm date,time, and place to meet when you got back from break. Distance and time builds anticipation and excitement.
GJParticipantJanuary 23, 2019 at 7:56 pm #193296
It is clear that you have a lot of feelings; an attraction to this girl, a great deal of worry as to what she is or isn’t doing with your text, a fear of rejection, and a readiness for something to be wrong. Unfortunately this is one of the limitations of messaging and texting. There is no way for you to hear the tone , the music behind the words sent. We also live in a technological world that you know if a text was read, and can monitor another person’s activity on apps. We have no idea what this actually means for this young lady. I would like to provide you with some feed back but I need to know if you are a high school student or college student. I look forward to reading your response and providing you with my reflections.
CuriousGuyParticipantJanuary 24, 2019 at 5:51 pm #193387
Feel like this is pretty common when texting girls. Ask her out and if she doesn’t reply or answer yes then maybe move your attention to another girl
T0320ParticipantJanuary 29, 2019 at 4:36 pm #193730
I’m a college student we talked about it and she said she wasn’t looking to be in a relationship, I’m just gonna move on
pmfpmfParticipantFebruary 1, 2019 at 9:03 am #193874
Just plain old ghosting. She’s either ghosting or she’s maybe actually busy and might come back to you soon but it’s really hard to tell.
GJParticipantFebruary 1, 2019 at 5:24 pm #194004
I read your post and it is very clear that you had some attraction to this woman. I would like to assist you because this issue appears to be more about your process than the content of your communication to this woman. With new relationships we have to be very attuned to what’s going on in our own head and feelings and be very connected to the other person’s feeling expressed by signals through body-language, vocal tones, and their actions. It appears you might have moved too fast, and to intensely for this woman. This is a process issue that I would be happy to help you with if provide me some information.
1. how old are you?
2. what is your relationship history?
1. What were you attracted to? What did you like about her?
2. You actually connected to this woman in person and talked to her. That was great. Why did you feel you had to talk to her over the school break?
I look forward to reading your replies and providing you my feedback
rndmcollegeguyParticipantFebruary 4, 2019 at 1:11 am #194073
hey i think you should try to see what her friends think and then maybe get to know her in real life
markva4ParticipantFebruary 5, 2019 at 9:48 am #194202
send her a text and ask when she is free so you can take her out. Then wait for the reply dont blow her phone up
krystalviolinParticipantFebruary 6, 2019 at 11:28 am #194253
What was the last text you sent her?
And are you going to see her again?
PeterLParticipantFebruary 8, 2019 at 12:38 pm #194506
Sounds like she’s not interested sorry to say, time to simply move on it say. She knows how to contact you if she decides she wants to be in touch with you. Sending anymore messages without getting a response may make her feel like you’re harassing her, you don’t want that.
ValenGSBParticipantFebruary 9, 2019 at 3:29 am #194523
Call and set up a date or to hangout and see where it goes. Don’t worry if she takes long to reply, girls usually tend to do that for a short time.
licooperParticipantFebruary 10, 2019 at 3:48 pm #194592
dashingscorpio is so right. He highlighted very important points for you.
I would add next things:
– it is absolutely ok for someone to not experience sexual or any other attraction to you. We are all humans and have our preferences. So, if she doesn’t like you, nothing is wrong with you or her. Just more on to the next girl. You might try to try text her a little later and see how that works out. Just ask her casually for a drink or dinner out.
– I would iterate one more time what dashingscorpio said. BE DIRECT and EXPLICIT about your intentions towards her. Tell her, I like you and I want to take you out. That’s it. Otherwise: “friend zone”.
– there is so much fish in the sea. I would look further into other opportunities.
– are you interested in relationship? If not, casually ask her out and go from there. If nothing will appear from the situation, then move on.
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