Texting during isolation


Texting during isolation

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 12, 2020 at 9:24 am #233675
    Texting during isolation

    I (24 M) have been messaging daily with a girl (23 F) I met on an online platform for a month and a half. We talked about various things, from deeper stuff like life goals, career and so forth, to just joking around. We both expressed to each other that we are enjoying this very much. Recently, the “momentum” has slowed a little, but it’s still consistent. I feel like many things to talk about have been exhausted. Firstly, what can I do to keep her interested, and keep things engaging? This could be ideas for conversation, or an alternative approach to keeping in contact with each other, something fun and interesting. I was considering video dates and such, but I am extremely camera shy, and feel it would be very awkward. I honestly would feel less anxious meeting someone in person. That, however, the opportunity is probably about two months away in my part of the world, if things go well on the pandemic front.

    May 12, 2020 at 10:48 am #233705

    “..met on an online platform for a month and a half.”

    “We talked about various things, from deeper stuff like life goals, career and so forth, to just joking around.”

    ” Recently, the “momentum” has slowed a little…”

    “I feel like many things to talk about have been exhausted.”

    “what can I do to keep her interested, and keep things engaging?”

    {Six weeks} of “messaging daily” without having verbal conversations on the phone or doing any video chats is too long!
    Based upon what you’ve written it does NOT sound like you two have ever engaged in any {flirtatious banter or sexual innuendo}.

    You’re putting yourself at risk of falling into the “Friend Zone” if you haven’t already landed their in (her) mind.
    Platonic relationships always run out of momentum.

    Secondly if (she) is into you then she should also be coming up with topics as well as flirting with you.
    Have you even talked about going out on (date), NOT “hanging out”; where that would be, what you would do?
    Have you told her you can’t wait to see her in person, hold her in your arms. and share your first kiss?

    Six weeks of talking about the weather, career goals, and local news isn’t going to create a romantic spark.

    May 13, 2020 at 8:36 am #233680

    Also, how should I bring up the idea of a meetup eventually? I guess I am waiting for a “trigger” for the right moment. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m irresponsible or anything like that. However, things in my part of the world are improving, and we have done comparatively quite well overall, and things are slowly opening up at the moment (you can probably guess at this point which country this is). The health advice is that even with this restart, social distancing should be observed for at least May and June, then people can cautiously start to relax that, but that’s if things stay under control. This is welcome news, as many people were suggesting that we will be socially isolated until a vaccine comes about, which was honestly quite distressing for me, as people in relationships would be fine to continue to see each other, but singles like myself would be doomed. On top of that, I have never been in a relationship. So, when and how should I bring this up?

    May 14, 2020 at 11:57 am #233800

    Just tell her what you just stated:
    “Things are slowly opening up. Once it does is there any place you’d like to meet?”

    Secondly I would suggest you (engage with multiple women) until you’re actually in a relationship.
    This will keep you from becoming too “emotionally invested” in someone you barely know!
    It also makes it easier to handle rejection or being ghosted because you’re not “all in’ with one person.

    If you were seeking a job you wouldn’t stop sending out resumes just because you had a great interview with one company.
    Until an offer has been made and accepted both the candidate and company are within their rights to interview others.

    When it comes to online dating it’s also important to remember {you’re in competition with other guys}.
    Anyone who has an {active dating profile} is keeping their options open and so should you.

    You may want to read the book: Online Dating Avoid The Catfish! How To Date Online Successfully

    Best wishes!