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ThemamguyParticipantMay 30, 2016 at 1:57 am #101611
So here is my problem. I’ve been dating this girl for about 2 months. She has this ex that she has a history of going back to after brake ups. She’s been broke up with him for about 6 months now and he’s been messaging her. She shows me the texts and tells me most of the stuff that they say but it bothers me that she keeps a pictures of them together as a contact picture and texts him ALL the time. Even when she is with me. Should I be worried about this? She assures me that I have nothing to worry about and that she dosent want him and she dosent like him. They get in fights randomly and stop talking, she blocks his number, the whole nine yards, but then the next day they’re texting again and are friends. This is bothersome to me and if someone could help shed some light on my situation it would be great to hear from the community.
- This topic was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Themamguy.
JarodOnerParticipantMay 30, 2016 at 5:44 pm #101618
She not over him.
I would find someone else that doesn’t have this kind of drama this early in the relationship. Whether she’s showing you the texts or not, she shouldn’t be fighting with her ex, blocking him and all that while she’s with you.
An ex is an ex for a reason, simple as that.
Move on, brotha. It seems like she’s still very into him.
ironspiderParticipantMay 31, 2016 at 10:42 am #101684
yup, they are still into each other, move on.
applesandbananasParticipantJune 1, 2016 at 5:14 pm #101910
Yeah you don’t want to get messed up in all that. Get someone else on the go
lilyvalleyParticipantJune 2, 2016 at 12:31 am #101930
yeah it sounds like they’re still into eachother. Break up with her. Can you answer mine please?
RejectedOrNotParticipantJune 2, 2016 at 12:49 pm #102017
I don’t even think it’s a problem of them being into each other. She doesn’t take you to the serious level that she should be taking. If she really wants to engage with you in a serious relationship, she would have blocked her ex or whatnot or even remain as just friends. Her texting him all the time just doesn’t seem like they are just friends. You can find a better girl dude.
WhoAmEyeParticipantJune 2, 2016 at 3:56 pm #102048
Keep your chin up! You sound like a great guy and I feel if you stick with this girl you will change into someone you are not. Why settle for less when you can have the best. You should let her know immediately that she needs to choose between you or him. And then you will see how long she takes to respond to your request. I do not think she will choose to stop communicating with her ex. Think about this, if you had broke up with girl and found someone more interesting that wanted your full attention and if you were serious about her would you still have a pic. of ur ex and you on your phone for when she calls you so the person you are dating can see it? I’m sorry but she’s playing the both of you and that’s just not fair unless you are agreeing to this and you don’t mind. Why don’t you meet a girl and take picture of her and you together and save in your phone and start texting with her.Then, let her know that she is just a friend and she must accept it too. Let him have her!
AnonymousInactiveJune 5, 2016 at 12:38 am #102183
Totally agree with mel6354772. It really is simple. She is being inappropriate and it’s making you feel uncomfortable. So here is a simple thing you could say to her. “Listen…I know you say there is nothing between you and your ex. There may be nothing romantic going on, but there is a relationship between you both that is affecting you and I. When you text him or talk about him, it makes me feel __________. I know you don’t want to make me feel that way and that you care about me. So I’m just going to tell you that this is starting to head into the category of being a deal breaker for me. This is not at all what I would like, but I just want to warn you, that I am not sure how much longer I can last having to hear about him. So you do whatever you want. I’m not here to tell you how to be. I just want you to be aware that it’s really uncomforable for me and that at some point, I will be willing to leave. So this is your choice and I totally respect whatever you choose.”
lilyvalleyParticipantJune 5, 2016 at 11:52 am #102185
@heidigoodrich can you answer my q’s please
SoTiredParticipantJune 5, 2016 at 12:19 pm #102186
Seems like there is definitely some unresolve feelings. You need to give her some space to figure out who or what she really wants. It’s easy for her because you’re there as the rebound guy. Don’t don’t give her an ultimatum to choose but tell her you’re going to give some space because that’s what she needs. Best of luck
pjl_incParticipantJuly 7, 2016 at 4:00 pm #104644
I am in a very similar situation. I think the problem is that none of us ‘get over’ our ex’s. I would feel weird talking to my ex, just as I think my gf would feel weird talking to her ex. The attraction never disappears.
Most of us don’t have a dialog with out ex partners, but some of us do. And if you, like me, happen to date a girl who has an ongoing dialog with her ex-bf, then the best thing to do is ask: why?
One suggestion is to organise to hang out with you, your girl, and her ex. If she thinks that’s weird, then ask her why? If she is ok with that, then hang out, be a bro, and observe first hand if there is anything to be worried about.
Long story short – don’t push her sever the connection with the past, but make it known that you need a commitment to the future.
If your partner is living in the past, they belong in yours.
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