The most basic question of all


The most basic question of all

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    December 27, 2018 at 12:18 pm #191714
    The most basic question of all

    I asked this same question on Reddit and didn’t get what I was looking for. So perhaps I’ll get a more straight answer here.

    Background in a nutshell: Only had one relationship in my life. I’m 39. Failed attempt at marriage. Two friends who should have never gotten married. Still friends to this day. Started out long distance across the internet before eventually moving in together.

    Ok, so knowing that I said my question is basic. And it is. I’ve gone through life never dating, and not by choice. So I haven’t gotten that experience like everyone else does as a normal part of life. What I want to know, is HOW you actually date someone. Not meaning asking them out, but what you do while dating and how often. Do you see them every day? Do you constantly go out doing activities? Are you calling or texting each other every day? I realize the x-factor is the two people themselves and what they want. So, just looking for YOUR prior experiences to guide me along.

    December 27, 2018 at 10:51 pm #191726

    Not all dating/relationships are the same so there are no real preconceived behavioral traits.
    As you noted the “x-factor” is the two people themselves.
    If two people are really (into each other) they will NATURALLY want to spend as much time together as possible.
    You don’t make relationships happen but rather allow them to (naturally evolve) if they are meant to be.
    A person calls or texts someone because (they) want to.

    Having said that there are instances where people are more or less dating for fun and enjoyment.
    One or both people are fairly certain their pairing is not going to end up being a “happily ever after”.
    There are also those who get together for “booty call” sessions or they are “friends with benefits”.
    In addition some people come on “hot and heavy” to seduce or romantically entice another person.

    Casual dating between two people not in a “relationship” and keeping their options open have no real rules.
    They may contact each other a couple of times a week or a few times per month.