The “old flame” so to say..

DATING ADVICE FORUM

The “old flame” so to say..

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2018 at 12:13 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    612in907
    612in907
    Participant
    July 5, 2018 at 10:27 pm #178688
    The “old flame” so to say..

    Man..this could get long. When I was in college I was best friends with this guy. We did everything together and he was someone I could trust. I soon developed feelings for him. We continued to hang out and a lot of things happened that made a lot of other people think we were dating, but we never talked about it. We would spend hours studying, we’d get each other coffee, he loaned me his car countless times when I would travel home. On breaks we would call each other and would talk for hours on the phone. Then things go a different direction. A girl came back to campus after studying abroad. We were on the same sports team together and our personalities clashed. I’m a caregiver and she was the hard butt. Both of us in leadership. He was our coach and things got a bit messy. She was more aggressive than me and skipping ahead…they started dating. I was crushed but we remained friends and we would get together often to talk about realionshio issues they were having…to be continued..

    612in907
    612in907
    Participant
    July 5, 2018 at 10:40 pm #178689

    Then I moved home and he wrote a sweet note me. Saying how hard on him it is, me leaving. Skipping ahead…they end up getting married. It hurt but I knew I needed to let it go. And I did. We still stayed in contact and would see each other from time to time when they were in town. About 3 years ago, we ran into each other again. And in the year in between I always wondered what if. We got to talking and unfortunately I heard that they got a divorce. I felt genuinely bad for them. But again allowing him to heal…gave space. Well I ended up moving across the country and heard from his sister that in college he really liked me and she said she prays we end up together. That spark is still there for me. Well again I ran into him this past winter at a conference and this is where it gets interesting. My friend said he was very attentive to me and she could tell we still had some connection. ( to be continued again…)

    612in907
    612in907
    Participant
    July 6, 2018 at 7:13 am #178691

    While at the conference we met for coffee. We hung out and talked like no time has past. He encouraged me in an interview I was heading to and then I ran into him when I was in a seminar. I stepped into the hallway for a coughing fit and he was walking by. He was the film guy for the convention. We talked in the hallway and he came in the classroom and we stood in the back listening. I looked over at him and he was staring at me. And I looked back and he playfully nudged me and smiled. It gave me the biggest butterflies I have felt in awhile: anyways, he introduced me to his dad while there, and when I was leaving he gave me a little gift that he had with him. And I told him we can’t go this long without seeing each other again. We hugged long and said good bye and as I was sitting on the plane, I got a text from him. I’m the last month or 2 we have interacted and talked more than ever. He even commented on a Facebook post…which he never does. What do I do now?! I think I know 😉

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    July 6, 2018 at 8:29 am #178694

    Life is too short to be playing cat and mouse games.
    There is only one reason why people end up in the “friend zone”.
    The person who wants more isn’t brave enough to be direct.
    An old adage: “If it’s not worth asking for, it’s not worth having.”

    Life is not a fairytale romance novel or Hollywood movie.
    It’s so easy to get caught up in “romanticizing obstacles” over the years.
    The (years of friendship), the marriage, divorce, running into each other, a playful nudge, his sister’s prayers.

    FACT: He never dated or proposed to you!

    If you’re seriously interested in being in a relationship ask yourself: Who would relocate?
    Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary. The goal is to be with the person you love.
    Whenever there’s no “light at the end of the tunnel” where someone is relocating couples eventually drift apart.
    It’s the counting down of the months, weeks, & days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a LDR that keeps it strong!