This guy is driving me crazy

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This guy is driving me crazy

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Sieddd1
    Sieddd1
    Participant
    May 8, 2020 at 3:46 pm #233559
    This guy is driving me crazy

    I met this guy online we saw each other a couple of days later. We went to dinner and it was amazing and the chemistry was there. We kept talking for some time and we got deep really quickly. He told me he wants to be his wife bla bla bla and I am the one for him all of that. 3 weeks in, we only met once and he lives 2 hrs away. I suggested coming but something comes up and he can’t. After arguing for a week of how he’s busy and does not have time to see me. He finally saw me again and we enjoyed the night. I know he likes me but he’s been inconsistent and really hard to figure out. We kept fighting and we realized that we are horrible at dealing with conflict. It has been on and off for 4 months and I only saw him 3 times. When we are not fighting we are really good and I thought he was the one but when we argue we are horrible at communicating and we ignore each other, it’s toxic. We don’t become abusive or anything its more of a communication issue. He then became inconsistent with

    Sieddd1
    Sieddd1
    Participant
    May 8, 2020 at 3:51 pm #233560

    his affection and energy and I felt I was doing everything alone. He has the attitude that he is always right and he does nothing wrong and I am crazy for calling him out. He is new to the IG world and he just made one and he is loving all the attention he is getting from it. Because of the toxic situation I decide to move on and it was hurtful bc I knew it was the right thing to do as he changed. He said he changed bc of my behaviour and being needy which is asking to see him more than once in 20 days while he lives 2 hrs away. I moved on for two weeks. Then he came back telling me how much he loves me and it was a mistake to let me go and I am the one and we should try again bla bla bla. So i did, I really love this guy and he is different from every other guy I met. Keep in mind I am doing well for myself and got my shit together. I have been single for nearly 4 years now and I am 25. We go back to talking and it goes well and back to old good days but not for too long. We argue

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 10, 2020 at 11:54 am #233576

    “..we are horrible at dealing with conflict.”
    ” It has been on and off for 4 months and I only saw him 3 times.”
    “I felt I was doing everything alone.”
    “He has the attitude that he is always right and he does nothing wrong and I am crazy for calling him out.”
    “I really love this guy and he is different from every other guy I met.”

    Based upon what you’ve stated you two are not right for each other.
    This way too much drama for people who have only known each other 4 months and seen each other only 3 times!

    Secondly it’s always a “red flag” when someone instantly professes their love and starts talking about marriage.
    You allowed yourself to get swept away in a romantic fairytale of “love at first sight” which many people crave.
    Another part of you is “romanticizing obstacles” whereby you mistake the conflict for passion.

    Lastly there’s a chance he’s either living with someone or dating someone else while professing his love.
    No one who is {madly in love} only sees their mate once per month and is only a 2 hour drive away!
    Sounds to me like he’s hiding something from you and you’ve never visited his place or spent the night.

    Ultimately if you expect each other to become who you’re not it means you’re not right for each other!
    Move on! Four months and only 3 meetings should still be the honeymoon phase of a new relationship.

    Sieddd1
    Sieddd1
    Participant
    May 11, 2020 at 8:13 am #233561

    again and don’t resolve anything and ignore each other and call it quits just like before. He tells me that I put him off with my behaviour ans he likes relaxed chilled environment. Our last argument was because I thought it was disrespectful to lke booty pics of females he knows on IG and gives me the wrong signal that he is not serious pursuing me. This is the same guy that deleted my comment on his page bc he says he is a private person while he reciprocated back female attention. He said he is single and unhappy with me and can do whatever he wants. I told him why did you bring me back to this if nothing was gonna change and its back to toxic relationships. We were in a situationship where he said that wanted to commit but does not feel right. I told him it’s very clear now where you stand bc I would never disrespect you like that and would not want to hurt your feelings which is something he can’t do for me. It is really hurtful bc this guy is the first person I met here,

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 13, 2020 at 11:01 am #233740

    ” It is really hurtful bc this guy is the first person I met here”

    When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success.
    Very few people hit a homerun their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time up at bat.
    If this were not the case we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

    If you’re unhappy in a relationship and choose to stay YOU are {choosing to be unhappy}.

    No one is “stuck” with anyone! Suffering is optional.

    Going over a list of his flaws should provide you with all the proof he is NOT “the one”!

    “There’s a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough.”

    Don’t be a passenger in your own life. Take the wheel!
    If you’re unhappy and your needs aren’t being met move on.

    Fortunately we live on a planet with over 7 Billion other people.
    There is no shortage of men who might make a far more suitable partner.

    You may also want to read the book: My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)

    Best wishes!

    daniel-1973
    daniel-1973
    Participant
    May 18, 2020 at 12:07 pm #233939

    Actually it’s very simple, @ OP…

    If you are fighting a lot already, imagine how bad things can (and will) go when you are living together. If he is full of excuses now, that’s a red flag. May be he is married, may be he just wants to enjoy a night with a nice lady (so to say) or may be he has some issues himself and blaming you. You won’t be the first, nor the last, and me neither.

    It looks like it is best to go on, leave him behind and find someone else who does care! Someone who doesn’t fight you all the way, who is more understanding. In short: someone who is a match in real life, and not only on paper.

    Good luck, in the end it’s your desicion.

    tryingtobewiseone
    tryingtobewiseone
    Participant
    May 20, 2020 at 12:48 am #234054

    Girl. Let him go. It’s seriously the BEST thing to do. Right now I’m talking to a man that lives 7 and 1/5 hours away from me, yet is willing to drive half way or over half way to see me. My mom always says that when a man really wants a woman he will go after them!!!! 2 hours is nothing, you’re worth traveling the whole world for, remember your value and don’t make it less for any man! It WILL suck/hurt now, but time will heal and your future will be better because of it. 🙂 take care.

    prabs22
    prabs22
    Participant
    May 21, 2020 at 6:00 am #234111

    Dont get into a toxic relationship