This Happened When I Asked Her Out

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This Happened When I Asked Her Out

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2020 at 7:42 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    NotFatherXmas
    NotFatherXmas
    Participant
    March 27, 2020 at 9:28 am #232202
    This Happened When I Asked Her Out

    Only 1000 characters so I’ll be concise! I asked a women out, here’s what happened:

    Me: “Do you fancy going out? Can I have your number?”

    Her: “You do know I have a family, don’t you?”

    Me: “No, I didn’t know that.”

    Her: “I have 2 children. You probably think I’m younger than I actually am. We can be friends and go for a coffee.”

    Wow, I was slightly taken aback by her response.

    Me: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

    Her: “NO!” She said loud and clear, “I live with the father of my children.”

    I was taken aback again!

    Her: “I have work to do.”

    I respected her boundaries and left. The whole situation was more intense than expected and I would like someone else’s opinion on what happened. I went back to her shop later in the day and just enjoyed her company for a while. This was the day when coronavirus was kicking in and there was hardly anyone around so both shops were quiet. I think she’s trapped in her situation but perhaps fancies me? What say you?

    NotFatherXmas
    NotFatherXmas
    Participant
    March 27, 2020 at 9:48 am #232203

    Context: So I work in a shop and there’s a woman who works next door who I’ve been flirting with for a couple of months. When I walk past her shop she does exaggerated double takes, lots of eye contact, lots of smiles, etc. Other people have commented that there seems like there’s something going on between us.

    I often hang around outside the shops when on breaks and our paths cross occasionally. There’s often a “Hi” or a “How are you?” when we see each other on the street. Great, I thought, I’m going to get chatting to her. We started having conversations and got on great, still lots of flirting. I thought I’d ask her out but the thing was I wanted to do it when there was no one else around so as not to make things awkward. I decided to bide my time and an opportunity would arise.

    The other day I got my chance to ask her out. I was just about to start work and was hanging around outside the shop having a bite to eat, she arrived to open up her shop and I thought myself this is it!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 27, 2020 at 11:30 am #232217

    You ask a woman for her phone number to take he out and she gives you the following replies:

    “You do know I have a family, don’t you?”

    ““I have 2 children…We can be friends and go for a coffee.”

    “I live with the father of my children.”

    “I have work to do.”

    First of all she rejected you and gave a list of reasons on top of it!
    She didn’t give you her number and stated at best you could grab a cup of coffee and be “friends”.
    Had you had any casual but (real conversations) with her you would have known her relationship status.

    Secondly: There is nothing you stated which would indicate she’s “trapped” or needs to be rescued.
    No one is “stuck” with anyone! Suffering is optional.

    When she said: “I live with the father of my children”
    She wanted you to know even though they’re not married; this (guy) isn’t just some “boyfriend”!

    I suspect she’s like a lot of people in relationships/married who enjoy flirting for FUN.
    She’s not “romantically interested” in YOU! Move on!

    NotFatherXmas
    NotFatherXmas
    Participant
    March 30, 2020 at 8:12 am #232225

    I think you’re right! It’s just flirting with the same person for months, thinking back it was more like 4 months, with the same person with no intention behind it and a partner in tow is poor behavior! I wonder what her partner would say? He might even be cool with it, but I wouldn’t want my partner to behave like that! Perhaps she did have fantasy feelings for me and when things got real she had a reality check hence her reaction?

    Still, I will take the positives, she was the first woman I’ve asked out for years. I’ve been quite ill for ages and my confidence took a bashing. Perhaps we both got a boost to our self esteem out of it? I will move on.