Time to distance myself of give them the benfit of the doubt?

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Time to distance myself of give them the benfit of the doubt?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Meera
    Meera
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 12:16 am #199917
    Time to distance myself of give them the benfit of the doubt?

    I have a “more than just friend”. They are in the military and were getting deployed. Leading up to that we were talking about how things might progress when they got back. The first few days on deployment we were chatting online like normal. They were saying they missed me etc. Then they started ignoring my messages. They eventually said they were just busy and had poor internet and it was like old times for a few days and then once again went completely silent. Mid conversation. I know they have been online because I have seen them online frequently and for long periods of time, however they have not read or responded to messages. Even if we weren’t more than friends, I would expect someone to still respond to messages and keep you updated on their wellbeing when they are in a dangerous situation. So part of me is thinking they’re just being inconsiderate and to move on, but another part of me is thinking maybe being on deployment is different and they genuinely can’t talk to me.

    Serendipity084
    Serendipity084
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 10:15 am #199937

    Well, to be honest and brutal, it is quite obvious you are being ignored. Just move on.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 7, 2019 at 10:52 am #200016

    “I have a “more than just friend”. So basically you are NOT in an exclusive relationship!

    “So part of me is thinking they’re just being inconsiderate and to move on…” – Once again you are NOT in a relationship!
    This is a common mistake a lot of people make when dating. They emotionally invest in “situationships”.

    As long as there has been no discussion to become a “couple” you should be keeping your options open.
    In other words you should be going out with other people.

    If you wanted a job you wouldn’t stop submitting resumes to other companies just because you’ve had some interviews with one.

    Time to be honest with yourself.
    If someone believes you are worth the effort {they will make the effort}.
    If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    jewels
    jewels
    Participant
    May 14, 2019 at 10:29 pm #200394

    Maybe he can’t communicate with you because he is deployed. That is the best case scenario. When does he get back and do you want to wait that long?

    Tabithaclark
    Tabithaclark
    Participant
    May 26, 2019 at 9:54 pm #201092

    Honestly, if they are in the military and you’re not yet in a relationship is it worth it? Not only will you have to wait for him (like jewels pointed out) but you’re not in a place where your relationship is strong enough to withstand distance, because you’re not actually dating! I wouldn’t go out of my way to contact someone who isn’t making an effort to contact me back like that. There are plenty of amazing people who aren’t in the military and who wouldn’t ignore you