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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!February 25, 2019 at 10:34 am #195494
Background: I get very little matches on tinder. I used to have a bad profile, but I updated it (about half a year ago). Now I have 3 face pictures with a good quality, and two lower quality hobby pics (sports and music). In the bio, I tell about my hobbies (I compete in one sport), and what kind of social activities (basically anything with a small group and no alcohol) I enjoy and do not enjoy (bars, loud environments).
I’m planning to create a completely new profile and get a fresh start. I’ve written a new bio, in a slightly different tone. It’s less detailed, e.g. it states my interests as “sports, music and dancing”, and no mention about competing or which sports I play. Social interests are listed as “X, Y and Z, or open for suggestions! Won’t find me from bars though.” Now I also have one higher quality sports picture from a competition. I’d also like to add a dancing picture (or video), but that’s a bit difficult, because I don’t want any of my pics to contain other people.February 25, 2019 at 10:35 am #195495
To the questions:
1. I believe that my profile is better now than before, but are there some other things that I could consider to make it even better? I can try to translate my bio here if someone is interested to take a look.
2. After I have created a new profile, how should I swipe to maximize ELO score? Naturally I swipe right about half of the profiles. Should I swipe right less? Only with girls that I really like? Or girls that I would expect to match with?
3. Any other tips to have the best start possible?March 2, 2019 at 4:46 am #195939
To clarify a little, what kind ot tips I’m looking for:
Should I for example change the age range in the beginning (and change it back later), to have a higher chance of a match and therefore increase ELO score? Assumption: I’m more likely to match with girls who are closer to my own age (a little below 30). I was thinking about changing my age range from 18-33 to e.g. 25-31. Would it be worth it?
dashingscorpioParticipantMarch 4, 2019 at 5:49 pm #195977
Generally speaking the most important thing about online apps is photos.
If someone isn’t physically attracted to you they’re not going to bother reading your profile.
Unfortunately beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can’t control who finds YOU attractive.
All you can do is look your best and put your best foot forward.
I suspect the “no alcohol” and no bar scene is a buzz kill for most people in their 20s and 30s.
Outside of dating apps going to parties, bars, nightclubs, and concerts is a large part of their social scene.
You may want to consider a niche dating website for introverts or health enthusiasts.
Another possibility is joining some hobby groups on Meetup dot com.
Much like school you’ll have the opportunity to get to know people over time while attending the group meetings.
They have book clubs, movie goers, hiking, meditation…
Dating apps are nothing more than a tool for meeting (new) people.
Don’t rely on just one method for meeting new people.March 5, 2019 at 11:18 am #196015
About pics, what kind of pics should I include? Currently I’m planning to have 3 pics which display my face clearly, one sports pic (shirt on, of course), and one dancing pic. None of them include other people. Are there some other aspects I should display? And could those new 2-second video loops be of any use?
I noticed something interesting when testing photos on photofeeler. I had several sports photos which I edited to include a small photo of my face in the corner. They all received about the same rating (attractive 6.0) as the photo which only had my face. For me, being slim/sporty is the most attractive physical feature in a woman. Also from my point of view, if she has sports pics, we already have one common interest. Is being sporty not an equally important turn on for women?March 5, 2019 at 11:19 am #196016
Yes, I agree that I might be seen as boring due to not drinking. But to claim that the life of young women consists mostly of bars and partying is a huge exaggeration. It might also be a cultural thing, and not equally common where I live. Besides, I doubt that the kind of super social party girl would not be the perfect match for me anyway.
The thing is, I live in a small/medium sized city: about 200k people and 3 universities. Tinder is the most active dating app in my area, and swiping for 30 minutes per day with 50 km radius, I run out of new profiles. The second most active dating app/site has less than one new user per week in my area and age range! The good thing about tinder is that it kind of works in the background, and most of my recent dates have been from tinder. Also, the transition from messaging to dates seems to be faster than on traditional dating sites. I typically suggest meeting face to face in third message, if not earlier.March 5, 2019 at 11:24 am #196017
As I mentioned in the other thread, I’ve also tried quite many other methods for meeting women. The problem is that I’m not naturally extroverted or outgoing. But still, considering that half of the people are less than average in terms of being social, and still most manage to find a girlfriend at some point, it should not be this hard.
dashingscorpioParticipantMarch 5, 2019 at 2:29 pm #196031
I would forget about the sports photos.
A headshot and full photo of you should be fine.
Fear is the main reason why people rush to meet someone.
They’re afraid of having conversations getting to know them before meeting.
Little do they know by establishing rapport, laughter, and building chemistry it makes the first date easier!
Rushing to meet people after only 3 messages can lead to a lot of “first date” only scenarios.
You’re better off screening people out before investing time and money on a bad date.
In order for someone to “grow” they have to eventually step outside their “comfort zone”.
If you want something different YOU have to do something different!
You might want to focus on something that puts you in a “limelight”.
Women are drawn to guys who are successful or known for something. A little fame goes a long way!
Lastly oftentimes guys who have problems meeting girls also have no “cool” male friends!
Befriend a guy who dates a lot and LEARN from him.
luverboyParticipantMarch 6, 2019 at 12:54 pm #196083
never remind eachother what they did in the past…..just forgive yourself first & then forgive ur partner and go foward!
never regret anything life is to short, without the pain suffering joy happiness struggle it would mean nothing!
so take it day by day, breathe live in the present moment, just accept all the pain hurt happiness that what being alive means!!!March 10, 2019 at 6:57 am #196300
Hmm.. I’m curious, why no sports pics? I’m trying to enforce “show don’t tell” policy. So instead of telling too much about my interests in the bio, I include photos of my hobbies. And those serve as full body photos. They’re not some untasteful shirtless gym selfies.
For me, meeting people soon saves time. Attraction only happens in person anyway, not over text. If there’s no chemistry, better to find out now than after weeks of texting. Writing a message in tinder often takes me like 30 minutes, maybe due to my conversation style. I prefer to write longer messages with more content instead of one-sentence, chat-like messages. Plus, texting is no fun, but dating usually is, even if it doesn’t lead to second date.
ali_jamalParticipantMarch 13, 2019 at 4:43 pm #196675
zackhogan1234ParticipantMarch 18, 2019 at 2:47 am #196954
I’m not sure what to say here… I’m not a big fan of Tinder.
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