Too busy to make time for me

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Too busy to make time for me

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    August 8, 2019 at 10:58 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    mid20s
    mid20s
    Participant
    August 7, 2019 at 2:38 pm #205034
    Too busy to make time for me

    I met this guy online a few weeks ago and we hit if off the first few days. I expressed to him early on that communication was super important to me because of the lack of it in previously failed relationships. I asked him if he was comfortable talking on the phone and video chatting and he said he was and felt the same way about communicating as I did. We talked on the phone once and it was nice but he didn’t seem that into it. Fast forward to now, He never wants to talk on the phone and he texts me once after work then goes MIA for hours. On a good day I can get maybe two or three messages from him. I have confronted him multiple times about this and even tried to break it off multiple times and he keeps making excuses and saying I am blowing things out of proportion and taking things too personally. He says that he can’t text me at all during the day because of work and then gets busy at night with friends and family. Should I just cut it off now or give him a chance to make time?

    pkmkb
    pkmkb
    Participant
    August 10, 2019 at 2:11 pm #205173

    no worries

    x569
    x569
    Participant
    August 10, 2019 at 6:47 pm #205179

    You are wasting your time. Get rid of him. Jeez…

    Brrr in Alaska
    Brrr in Alaska
    Participant
    August 10, 2019 at 6:48 pm #205180

    Seems you are viewing this as some type of relationship. It isn’t. The two of you are only texting and talking. At best, you could call it a casual friendship. Your expectations are a little higher than they should be.

    Moe1021
    Moe1021
    Participant
    August 10, 2019 at 9:54 pm #205182

    Don’t waste your time on people that don’t want to talk to you. You’ll only drive yourself crazy. Been there done that.

    jimsco
    jimsco
    Participant
    August 11, 2019 at 5:46 am #205194

    If you really love someone, you would make up some time for that person, no matter how busy you’re…

    watdahellidk
    watdahellidk
    Participant
    August 14, 2019 at 2:56 am #205381

    I understand completely. Maybe you expect too much from him and to keep in mind you guys are still casual. The best thing you can do is to set up a scheduled time to talk on the phone or chat. If he’s not okay with that, then he’s not worth it and just not that into you.

    FemaleFriends123
    FemaleFriends123
    Participant
    August 14, 2019 at 10:51 am #205414

    I think you forgot to “define the relationship”. First off, if he isn’t your boyfriend, officially, there is no way you should be this controlling over the time he gives you. For all you know he’s seeing other people too. Secondly, he already explained his situation with work – take it or leave it. Finally, I don’t think this guy is into you. It’s time to move on and move up!

    Jolana
    Jolana
    Participant
    August 16, 2019 at 12:28 pm #205564

    if there is a will there is a way

    aliaspenname
    aliaspenname
    Participant
    August 17, 2019 at 10:58 pm #205600
    Reply To: Too busy to make time for me

    I think guys who are truly interested will make the time to contact you.

    That being said, I think you may need to temper your expectations a bit and set some healthy boundaries for yourself. It’s not realistic or healthy to expect communication throughout the day every day. And, in doing so, you may potentially get the exact opposite. It exhibits a form of immediate distrust (“are you with another girl if you aren’t texting me?”).

    faithdanielle
    faithdanielle
    Participant
    August 18, 2019 at 10:25 am #205612
    Reply To: Too busy to make time for me

    He’s sadly not considering your feelings I don’t think you should consider this person. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

    nyass
    nyass
    Participant
    August 18, 2019 at 8:34 pm #205622
    Reply To: Too busy to make time for me

    Agree

    tstudent
    tstudent
    Participant
    August 20, 2019 at 10:31 am #205729
    Reply To: Too busy to make time for me

    Maybe you two just have different communication styles. How often do you meet in person? I can somewhat relate to this guy, based on what you have told. I’m not a phone person at all. If I’m interested in someone, I want to see her as often as possible, but when separated, most of my communication focuses on planning next dates. I prefer to do all “chatting” face to face.

    For me, communication is also important. However, quality before quantity. We don’t necessarily need to meet/call everyday, but we must be able to discuss absolutely everything.

    One last thing: you didn’t say if you’re exclusive, but I assume you are not. In that case, it’s possible that he’s also chatting with others. From experience I can say that it’s quite time consuming, and I rarely send more than one message per day before I have met someone in person.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 23, 2019 at 6:40 pm #206092
    Reply To: Too busy to make time for me

    whatever happened you two got off to a bad start and it isn’t improving.
    doesn’t sound like this one is working.

    move on.

    seriensea
    seriensea
    Participant
    August 25, 2019 at 1:03 am #206110
    Reply To: Too busy to make time for me

    Move on… this isn’t worth your time, emotions and energy. Looks like he is keeping you as a backup or something. He could make time for you if he wanted to, after work. If he could spend time with ‘friends and family’ after work but not you, then why do you even want him to be in your life? Just not worth it!