trouble trusting people

DATING ADVICE FORUM

trouble trusting people

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 8:44 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    jdelossantos
    jdelossantos
    Participant
    August 13, 2018 at 5:00 am #181422
    trouble trusting people

    Hi, everyone, Sorry for the long thread below. Good evening and greetings to you all.

    My name’s Joseph.
    I am 22 , i am a musician living in the NYC metro area, that has a strong feeling for the sky , to become a corporate pilot , because i feel the urge to show performance in the flight deck after multiengine training, & a recording artist with my own ideal sound. I have recently had a series of issues trusting people enough to date, in this case, girls. In a few instances I’ve talked to girls a few times and it resulted in them lying to me about small things (whether they have social media for us to talk). I can tell when someone is lying to me. I have been asked if I had social media myself by like at least 3 people in the past, just to keep in touch , but I am not interested in them in any shape or form . I have met and talked to more people online (instagram) than in person (I only have a small circle of friends there). But at the same time, I have lost trust. What shall I do?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    August 13, 2018 at 11:44 am #181451

    Don’t worry about it! Trust much like respect is (earned) over time.

    Allow people to (earn) your trust by demonstrating honesty and integrity.
    Don’t feel like you have to “trust people” right off the bat before you actually (know) them.
    It takes time to truly get to know someone!

    The problem many people have is they want to go on “auto-pilot” when they meet new people.
    They want to take everyone for their word and not have to “think’ and “question” before making decisions.
    They allow “impulsive connections” and “happenstance” to dictate their relationship choices.
    It’s the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

    Secondly remember people may not trust you!
    Most people are not an “open book” when they meet new people!
    It’s gradual process for most people to reveal themselves.
    If someone likes you they’re going to try to avoid saying or doing anything which might blow it with you.
    That’s human nature!
    Just listen, observe, and you’ll learn if they’re trustworthy.

    JamieF99
    JamieF99
    Participant
    August 15, 2018 at 9:16 am #181590

    I have a friend who is admittedly a racist.Not because he’s trash, but because, whenever he’s confidential with a black friend, they’ve betrayed his trust.Everytime.While purposefully avoiding people because of a negative trait he’d encountered associated with skin tone isn’t entirely unjustified,it is still ethically wrong to do so.Your situation is different of course,but(as someone who frequently used to exaggerate or lie to impress people)it’s all insecurity based.Its wrong to lie,but are you making them feel uncomfortable?Perhaps they’re trying to ease up the situation,I’ve done such things myself.Introspection can cure a large majority of problems we face in interpersonal communion.If this isn’t the case.Remember, who you are (or how you’re perceived) is often a reflected by the people who surround you.If your perceived attitude and persona are indicative of perhaps you should change your approach.Maybe you just haven’t found the right person. So much can be explained by chance