Trying to understand 50ish aged men

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Trying to understand 50ish aged men

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    D.A.
    D.A.
    Participant
    March 19, 2018 at 10:16 am #167718
    Trying to understand 50ish aged men

    I am asking for advice from men, even though I am female. Every man I have dated in this age group seem to bring up sex in every conversation. While this was cute and fun when I was younger, it seems very immature at this age. We can be chatting about plans, and wham – I hear about sexual fantasies/how often he needs or wants sex/crude sex jokes/and joking about 3-ways with my gay girlfriend or any other female friends. We haven’t even had sex yet! I’m not a prude, but really thought that conversations would be more meaningful. Is this normal? Is this how most men in this age group communicate? Is it not necessary to get to know one another and just fall into bed? These men all seem to want a real relationship, but I just find the lack of quality communication very off putting. Please let me know the male perspective.

    • This topic was modified 7 months ago by D.A. D.A..
    coachbt
    coachbt
    Participant
    March 23, 2018 at 11:32 am #168276

    Short answer is yes – all we think about is sex. I’m 52, healthy and take care of myself. Consider it as a compliment if I bring up sex with you. It means I find you attractive and would like a relationship. You want a meaningful conversation? I’m good with that but I have needs too. I can pretty much guarantee you a great conversation if I’m drained. If not I’m trying to say or do whatever it takes to get to that point. I haven’t dated a divorced lady that gave her X to much sex when they were married. Usually it’s the opposite, no blow jobs, no sex equals the guy either masturbating way to much or cheating… then the gal is like, why would he cheat. Sex the man up pretty much daily, 5 times a week. And see if he cheats. He won’t. The masturbating circle is a death sentence for a marriage or a relationship. Also, we don’t expect sex on the first date or two but date three? Either don’t have a third date or be ready to take it the next level. It’s not like we’re 16 anymore.

    jasey012
    jasey012
    Participant
    March 23, 2018 at 1:06 pm #168305

    Hi, I’m a 28 year old man and I don’t think about sex all the time. Most of the men that I have had as friends don’t talk about sex all the time either. For men, I would suggest that it may not ever be that far away from their minds. However, the appropriateness of discussing these subjects is something that should be considered. It may well reflect a lack of self awareness on the part of the man if he is bringing up these topics inappropriately or in a way that makes you uncomfortable.
    Since you have experienced this with a number of men in this age category perhaps you are able to make them feel comfortable enough with you that they are willing to be very open with you. This could be considered a positive reflection of your personality. However, perhaps you should consider being a little more upfront about what you want from conversation and make it quite obvious what you are and are not comfortable with discussing. There are some men who do not pick up on social cues easily.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    March 28, 2018 at 9:46 am #168737

    Do not worry, this is a man’s nature. After all, psychologists have proved that men often think about it. If this depresses you, try to talk to him. We understand men when we are all told directly and without puzzles