Uncomfortable about sexual intimacy with partner during miscarriage

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Uncomfortable about sexual intimacy with partner during miscarriage

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    February 2, 2020 at 5:03 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    PrettyLittle
    PrettyLittle
    Participant
    January 20, 2020 at 8:57 am #228083
    Uncomfortable about sexual intimacy with partner during miscarriage

    Hi all.

    – miscarriage TRIGGER WARNING-

    I recently miscarried at about 6 weeks along. I knew my partner wasn’t keen on keeping the baby and he indicated he felt a bit relieved that I’d lost it. That sounds awful to write but I suppose its the truth.
    I have PTSD from a past rape, my partner knows this.
    What I want advice on is that in the days that this was going on my partner still engaged in sexual acts with me. I obviously wasn’t in the mood and indicated that to him, pulled my body away etc but I didn’t have the energy to stop him from touching himself and using my body to help with that. And then other times when he got me to perform oral on him. I know I could have stopped it, but I was extremely vulnerable at the time and was too focused on how the baby I was carrying a day or two ago was now dying and leaving my body, the pain and grief of it.

    I don’t know what I should feel, if I am wrong about feeling uncomfortable around him now, and what I would even say?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 21, 2020 at 1:09 pm #228152

    “.. in the days that this was going on my partner still engaged in sexual acts with me.
    “I obviously wasn’t in the mood and indicated that to him, pulled my body away etc…”
    “..I didn’t have the energy to stop him from touching himself and using my body to help with that.
    “.. And then other times when he got me to perform oral on him.”

    Your body is your own. What you’ve described is essentially spousal/partner RAPE.

    The best thing you can do for yourself and self-esteem is leave this relationship!
    You are the one who should be relived you don’t have a permanent connection with him.

    Most likely this has been a toxic relationship in many other ways outside of the bedroom as well.
    If you’re unhappy in a relationship and you (choose) to stay in it YOU are choosing to be unhappy.

    You’re wasting your time if you are sticking around expecting him to become someone he is not.
    Contact family and friends for help and support to GET OUT!

    No one is “stuck” with anyone! Suffering is optional.
    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    PinkHippie
    PinkHippie
    Participant
    January 24, 2020 at 2:08 am #228336

    I think he is a jerk, He used your body for his pleasure no real feelings for what you were going thru, Dump him you deserve better