Urgent advice regarding sex and relationships needed

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Urgent advice regarding sex and relationships needed

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    thatguy
    thatguy
    Participant
    October 20, 2018 at 11:19 am #187589
    Urgent advice regarding sex and relationships needed

    I have a very peculiar situation on my hands that urgently needs to be dealt with. I am a junior in high school. It all started on Monday, October 15, 2018, I had invited my new girlfriend on a second date over at my place to watch a few episodes of a show we had discussed earlier in our conversations. We had been dating for about 3 weeks and things were going very strong up until this point, we had gone to homecoming together and really bonded on that night and had gone bowling a week before the incident and bonded really well there as well. I was feeling feelings I had never felt before, my previous girlfriend had never made me feel this way, I felt a true chemistry between me and my new girlfriend, Maddy. Anyways, I had invited her over on this Monday after school at about 8 pm. We had watched about three episodes of the show I had been talking about earlier. By this time, It was about 11 and the date was going to be wrapping up soon.

    • This topic was modified 3 weeks, 6 days ago by thatguy thatguy.
    thatguy
    thatguy
    Participant
    October 20, 2018 at 11:20 am #187590

    (continued) The entire date I was thinking to myself about when to make a move on her and get things started (We had kissed and touched a lot prior to this occasion, just nothing sexual). I eventually said, “When are we gonna take things to the next level”. She then responded with, “I feel you”. She then proceeded to make out with me and my hormones were raging, I eventually grabbed her boobs while making out, which she seemed fine with. I then took things, unbeknownst to me at the time, one step too far. I made a panic move that I now regret, I pulled out my dick and told her to spit on it. She seemed shocked by this and told me that she wasn’t going to. I then asked if she would do it on the car ride back to her place, she said, “I guess so”. When we both got in my car to go back to her place, she made it very evident that she is not ready to do those things yet with me. I was understanding and told her that I was not trying to use her and I am sorry for the way I acted.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 20, 2018 at 3:21 pm #187603

    You went from acting like two teens falling in love into behaving like you were making a porno video!
    This is supposed to be your girlfriend! Not some hooker you picked up on a street corner.

    Buy her some flowers with a nice card and apologize.
    The next time you do make out with her (take things slow) and don’t make any requests.
    Don’t “grab her boobs”, caress them, kiss her, if she allows you to, suck gently on her nipples….etc
    Foreplay is about {raising the temp of the girl} so she will want to go all the way.

    Seduction is more action than verbal communication.
    In fact if you open your mouth and say anything you’re likely going to blow it!
    You may want to read some books on seducing women. making love, and (how to please them).
    When you make the effort to please someone they usually want to reciprocate.
    Last but not least make sure you have condoms!

    thatguy
    thatguy
    Participant
    October 22, 2018 at 8:24 am #187592

    (continued2) She seemed to forgive me and I thought everything would just go back to normal, however, the rest of the week, we got more and more distant from one another. She even started to ignore all of my snaps and leave me on read, as well as acting less social in public. I knew that it had to be something to do with what happened on Monday. Tonight, One of my friends, Reed, messaged her and asked her how things were going between me and her. She asked him if he had found out about what happened, to which he replied no, even though I had told him everything. She seemed very moved and annoyed as she proceeded to tell him everything. After my friend got done telling her about how everyone makes mistakes and how she should give me another chance, she said that when shes around me, all she can think about is what happened on Monday. I wish I could take Monday back and not have learned my lesson the hard way.

    thatguy
    thatguy
    Participant
    October 22, 2018 at 8:24 am #187600

    to be continued

    thatguy
    thatguy
    Participant
    October 22, 2018 at 2:17 pm #187593

    (continued 2) She seemed to forgive me and I thought everything would just go back to normal, however, the rest of the week, we got more and more distant from one another. She even started to ignore all of my snaps and leave me on read, as well as acting less social in public. I knew that it had to be something to do with what happened on Monday. Tonight, One of my friends, Reed, messaged her and asked her how things were going between me and her. She asked him if he had found out about what happened, to which he replied no, even though I had told him everything. She seemed very moved and annoyed as she proceeded to tell him everything. After my friend got done telling her about how everyone makes mistakes and how she should give me another chance, she said that when shes around me, all she can think about is what happened on Monday. I wish I could take Monday back and not have learned my lesson the hard way.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 22, 2018 at 2:37 pm #187709

    yeah.. well… in this case a girl isn’t going to “resolve” and discuss this over social media or texts. You will want to setup a time to meet and talk in person and let her know that you want to apologize. and she has to feel comfortable that yo won’t do it again.

    Your best bet is to say there is just a misunderstanding and you thought that when she said “i feel you” that was the green light to do what you did – it won’t happen again.

    A better approach next time might be to guide her hand over your crotch and let her initiate with what she’s comfy with – you let her know what you have in mind, then let her decide where to take it from there (rather than commanding her exactly what to do). If you’re watching porn – DON’T do what they do in PORN! That’s fantasy – not reality.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 22, 2018 at 2:39 pm #187710

    btw.. you need to dial it back on the seriousness of all this. Nothing about this (or anything you do in high school relationships) is URGENT.
    Needing to move it to a “sexual level” after 2 dates at your age – IS NOT urgent.

    youre making far too big of a deal of all of this and that could be playing into her “not comfy with you” anymore as well.

    joehyre
    joehyre
    Participant
    October 30, 2018 at 8:26 am #188143
    Reply To: Urgent advice regarding sex and relationships needed

    It seems that this was your first “too close” experience with a girl 🙂 In such moments, it’s best to relax and feel your partner, but your actions were very strange, moreover, perhaps your girlfriend is not morally ready for this. Read these materials and maybe you will underline something for you and become more confident 🙂