Well I suck, Pls help me, Low self esteem

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Well I suck, Pls help me, Low self esteem

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    Mash2019
    Mash2019
    Participant
    January 7, 2019 at 6:39 pm #192104
    Well I suck, Pls help me, Low self esteem

    19 yr old, Male

    I actually don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore.
    I feel like my looks are just dragging me down at this stage. I don’t know whether I am good looking or not, my friends say I am but those are my friends, same with my parents… saying it to make you feel better.
    I’m not unhealthy or fat, I workout and made vast improvements and despite how badly my previous attempts to get a girlfriend have gone, I have kept my head high and tried to battle against it, I have tried to make improvements in every part of my life, I do muay thai, I try to talk to new people every day. But every time I get closer and closer to the end goal of getting a date, it just goes wrong, I asked a girl for coffee before the winter holidays, she said sure why not, suddenly 3 weeks later, I asked her on whatsapp like when do you want to meet… no answer.
    I feel like I am not good enough for anyone, look I am an everything virgin, virgin kisser, virgin in general… I don’t want to end up alone

    Deltora4L
    Deltora4L
    Participant
    January 8, 2019 at 10:51 am #192128

    First of all, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. I dont know how you look like, but everyone is attractive in their own unique way. And attraction goes beyond looks, its in the person you are as well. It seems like you have a routine and good personal life, and number one thing you should do is to keep your head up all the time and be confident, no matter what flaws you see in yourself, accept all of them. When you do that, others can do it too. You should try other ways to date if the same old method isn’t working, try dating apps, or meet new people and see where it goes, be yourself, be honest, and genuinely try to have a good time and get to know the other person. It seems like when you asked her to coffee, you followed up a bit late? maybe that’s the reason? Im not sure about the full situation, but what I do know is not every girl and every date will go all the way and be successful and thats why it takes multiple times sometimes to find what you want! hope this helps!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 8, 2019 at 2:36 pm #192150

    Cut yourself some slack!
    Everyone gets rejected and every virgin guy fears dying a virgin.
    The truth is at some point you will get better at approaching girls without seeming desperate.

    One of the best things you can do at this point is associate with guys who seem to have no problem with girls.
    You can learn a few things about how they operate. Consider reading books about flirtation and pickup lines

    Last but not least women love (confidence) in men as well as a good sense of humor.
    Everyone has heard the cliché :”Nice guys finish last.”

    Have you ever heard of: “The lonely player, jerk, a-hole, “bad boy”, Alpha male, or narcissist?” No!!!
    Clearly that is not a coincidence. Those types of guys exude confidence, swagger, or coolness around women.
    They don’t timidly ask them if they want to “hang out” or expect the girl to choose the time and place.

    Confidence comes with repeating a thing until you experience success multiple times.
    Every guy has a learning curve.

    devdo
    devdo
    Participant
    January 8, 2019 at 9:32 pm #192188

    There are tons of girls out there, don’t get hung on a few.
    In order to provide the most appropriate and helpful advice, it is important to know if you are looking for a hookup or an LTR. If you answered LTR, you need to understand that you really are too young to commit to something like that right now. It is a mistake that will haunt you.
    I suggest the hookup route as to help give you experience and help educate you to how females operate. If you strike out with one, go on to the next.
    Some tips on dating:
    Do not spend much money on dates.
    Do not talk too much. Women love a mystery and trying to figure you out.
    The harder to get that you play, the more likely you will score.
    Don’t be a nice guy! Women step all over nice guys and are actually turned off by them. Be a bad boy. Show up a little late, don’t contact her the next day, etc.

    85crt
    85crt
    Participant
    January 8, 2019 at 11:59 pm #192194

    I’m new here and I’ll say this..I’m 33, never had a girlfriend, and barely dated anyone at all. Fortunately I’m not a virgin, but I’m probably as close as you can get without being one lol.

    Whatever you do, keep trying. Don’t give up. I’ve had to realize I might very well end up alone, and seeing as I go years without sex that whole part of life is passing me by. But..I say this because..if I reach the end of my life and have only had a handful of dates amd slept with 2 girls and not really experienced love, well at least I’ll know I went down fighting.

    As depressed and low as you might sometimes get..fight it. Focus on the other parts of life. And never give up, always have the courage to ask a girl out even if it means rejection. Because even if you fail, and I don’t think you will, at least you partcipated. At least you worked on yourself to be as atttactive as possible. You went down swinging.

    You got a long way to go before you’re at my point. Keep fighting!!

    Jacin
    Jacin
    Participant
    January 10, 2019 at 1:50 am #192303

    Hey, I feel the same but not because of looks because I get a heck of alot of the wrong kind attention like that from men but because I have two kids so therefore I seem to be deemed as undateable. YOU my friend should not worry about looks because the last guy I caught feelings for and was sleeping with was short, chubby, red head, but he was brilliant! It’s definitely not looks females are attracted to, against popular belief, but rather CONFIDENCE
    Which is so hard to actually get, but seek help for that, to me confidence in a man means he’s happy! Everyday he’s happy and because he’s happy I believe that he can make me happy so I want to hang around him, stick with him, find myself fantasing about how happy we can be together!
    Train your mind into being happy. Work on that. Women want to be provided for (emotionally) if you give off the vibe that you can provide a happy life for her then she’s stay.

    Jacin
    Jacin
    Participant
    January 10, 2019 at 1:58 am #192304

    Oh BTW, the virgin thing for either male or female scares their person of interest because they automatically believe you’ll be clingy so just don’t tell a girl that . Don’t lie but avoid it at all costs. And if you have to tell her then prove you’re not clingy even if you think she’s had a good reaction to it. Back off a bit, for a little while, without upsetting her, prove you’re happy on your own with or without her, (it shows you can carry her not the other way around)

    But in saying, stay that way, I personally would not be scared off by virgin but the whole world doesn’t think like me, Im a Jehovah’s Witness and wished I lived my life according to Bible principles and saved myself for marriage but unfortunately didn’t.
    I’m trying to meet a Jehovah’s Witness man and chances are he’ll be a virgin!

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by Jacin Jacin.
    incanada
    incanada
    Participant
    January 11, 2019 at 12:12 am #192420

    I’m older than some of these folks, and one thing I’ve learned is that some of it comes down to VOLUME.
    If you only meet 10 girls, chances are some are taken, some don’t like you, and you don’t like them. On some level, for a fella who girls don’t consider super hot, you have to make sure that you meet as many people as you can. This opens up more possibilities.

    avrilrenee
    avrilrenee
    Participant
    January 17, 2019 at 3:19 pm #192880

    Dear Mash2019,

    You sound like a fabulous catch for the right woman! Don’t lose hope. We must not allow rejection to be a metric for our own self-worth. It is only a tool to be learned from. If you approach it this way, you’ll have more fun and start improving your self-esteem. Also, three thoughts:

    1. See Dashingscorpio’s reply above. He knows what he’s talking about! (not that the others don’t)
    2. Read up on Law of Attraction and/or watch The Secret on Netflix, if you can get past the cheesy-ness of it.
    3. Actively pursue how you can grow your self-confidence. Google it, YouTube it…you get the idea, you’re smart!

    You got this buddy! Good vibes coming atcha!

    JustARandomGuy
    JustARandomGuy
    Participant
    January 18, 2019 at 12:49 am #192919
    Reply To: Well I suck, Pls help me, Low self esteem

    I know how you feel bro nobody ever liked me but I kept my head up and had my moments. Just need patient and don’t be desperate as no one likes a desperate person.

    T0320
    T0320
    Participant
    January 18, 2019 at 1:49 am #192928
    Reply To: Well I suck, Pls help me, Low self esteem

    Someone out there likes you, just keep your head up high and keep asking people out

    SunnyD
    SunnyD
    Participant
    January 20, 2019 at 10:43 pm #193062
    Reply To: Well I suck, Pls help me, Low self esteem

    Keep your head up man. Keep putting yourself out there. Sounds like you have been but keep up the solid work. Confidence is key in all situations. Make jokes with the person, make jokes about yourself, have fun. When a girl does not want to talk to you anymore, don’t take it so personal. Look at it as their loss and move to the next. When one door closes, another one opens. I think about being single all the time but its really true when you stay busy, focus on all of the things and hobbies in your life that make you happy, things happen when you least expect them. Hang in there man, she’s out there. I hate hearing cliches sometimes but in the end, they are always true. Keep putting yourself out there<3