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HelpThisWomanParticipantNovember 22, 2014 at 6:20 am #67956
I’ve got a complicated one I need a male’s perspective on!
I met a sperm donor and it’s just supposed to be just that.
I’m already seeing someone but he doesn’t want any kids so I have go via a sperm donor.
The donor is currently going through a divorce where his wife’s left him so he’s grieving.
We really click and get on like a house on fire and can say anything to each other .
But now he told me he’s put his details on a dating website.
I’m upset bec I’m starting to like him.
I’ve asked him to not go on it and implied I could leave the guy I’m currently seeing.
He said he thinks I’m hot and he likes me but it wasn’t fair I was already seeing someone else and now he wants to try the dating website because he was married for so long.
So is that code for he’s not into me enough and wants to meet someone younger?
What are the tricks to encourage a guy to get off a dating website with other women and to just be with you?
Kristina_LaneParticipantNovember 22, 2014 at 4:59 pm #67967
Wow, what an unusual and intriguing situation. I will be curious to hear the guys’ perspective as well. Here is what I see and it may not be what you hoped for. The guy who wants to date others is not “enough” into you. The guy who does not want children is not enough for you either, given that you want children. Here is the “trick” – go and date like crazy. Date many guys at the same time and they will compete over you and that will make you relaxed and irresistible to the new men that come into you life. And ultimately, the right guy will step up and will give you all that you want (exclusivity, ring, children, whatever it is that you want). Don’t be exclusive with anyone until they give you want you want. This may seem counterintuitive but this is also your best bet at getting the guys that are already in your life to step up.
HelpThisWomanParticipantNovember 22, 2014 at 10:11 pm #67969
Thanks Kristina. That’s good advice. You have a beautiful photo 🙂
MrSSamsungParticipantNovember 23, 2014 at 7:30 am #67980
Lots of unknowns. Some possibilities:
1) he’s concerned that you’re quick to leave your current partner so soon… the fact you were apparently so close to him. He may feel you might leave him too and he’s just come from a failed relationship he does want to burnt again.
2) he just doesn’t want to commit so soon into a relationship as he’s worried he might get burnt again. (Very likely)
3) he only sees you as a friend (unlikely as you would probably pick that up).
4) he’s feeling pain from having his relationship split up and he doesn’t want to do the same to someone else… by bringing about the breakup of someone else’s relationship. (Almost certain)
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