What do I do?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What do I do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    sarah2020
    sarah2020
    Participant
    February 2, 2020 at 9:35 am #228788
    What do I do?

    I’ve bern married for 11 years with 2 kids. About 5 years ago, my hisband had an affair with a colleague from work. I found about about it. Spent over 2 weels in the hospital after I found out. He apologized and promised to turn a new leaf. I stayed because of my kids though. Lately, he has been coming homelate, always chatting on the phone. He also turned om the security and now uses a password. Sometimes I think I’m just paranoid. I’m so confused and frustrated. I really don’t want to end up in the hospital

    bharris1
    bharris1
    Participant
    February 3, 2020 at 1:19 am #228793

    Hey, if your heart feels heavy, then that’s your answer, men have a funny way of showing their love for us and they don’t realize we watch their patterns. Eleven years is a long time, I never been married but, I know what it feels like to love someone who is not emotional there for you. Stay strong a just keep busy, put your energy into what you want for yourself. Sometimes we have to block out those that don’t treat us right a love ourselves.

    PolyPocket
    PolyPocket
    Participant
    February 3, 2020 at 9:07 pm #228900

    I think you should speak to him about it. I always believe that communication is the key. Have him be open and honest with his feelings about the situation as well.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 4, 2020 at 10:03 am #228923

    “Sometimes I think I’m just paranoid. I’m so confused and frustrated. I really don’t want to end up in the hospital”

    Know yourself, Love yourself, & Trust yourself
    Let go of the notion that you have to actually SEE someone cheating in order to PROVE they’re cheating.
    If something doesn’t (feel right) to you it’s probably not right for you.
    If you’re UNHAPPY in the marriage it makes no difference.

    The real question is: Do you consider cheating/lack of trustworthiness to be a “deal breaker”?

    If it’s a “deal breaker” get out. If it’s not a “deal breaker” learn to do without.

    Expecting someone to become who they are not is a waste of your precious time.
    People don’t change unless (they) are unhappy.

    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
    We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
    Accept him (as is) or move on. The choice is up to you.
    No one is “stuck” with anyone! Suffering is optional.

    The goal is to have a “soulmate” not a cellmate.
    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde