What does he want?


What does he want?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 5, 2017 at 1:31 am #135469
    What does he want?

    I’m going to separate this so it’s easier to follow.
    —First off:
    this is about a guy I’m getting really mixed signals from, and I want to know if he’s genuinely sees me as girlfriend material, or if he just wants sex. He’s sort of a party dude, always out late, and super athletic. He’s considered universally popular and attractive.
    —What happened:
    I met this guy from my theatre program. We were in the same show together and we hung out a lot at the cast party. We played water pong on the same team and supersmashbros sitting side by side. We’re now BFFs on snapchat (we have been for a month). We talk about a lot of stuff, and he asked how far I’ve made it with a guy. I told him that my first kiss was a stage kiss in the play we were in together.
    Fast forward to a week and a half ago: I snuck out of my house and met up with him in the park. We ended up making out that night. He was really touchy and kept saying he couldn’t believe i was so innocent. Idk what any of this means..

    May 5, 2017 at 1:36 am #135470

    Adding more:
    He tends to be a pretty indecisive guy. I asked him what he wanted this to mean, and he was like “what do you *want* this to mean”? I said “Idk. Are we going to label ourselves as bf and gf or what…?” He pointed out that we’re both super busy (because we legit don’t get home from extracurriculars until at least 7:30 every night) and that we could wait until summer to have more time and “get serious”?
    I’m really nervous about the whole thing.

    May 5, 2017 at 11:54 am #135505

    To be more helpful and direct to your specific concerns – what are you nervous about?

    At face value – and you have to take us guys a bit literally b/c that’s how we’re wired (i’ll explain later) – it sounds like he feels you and he (or just he) doesn’t have enough time to get into anything serious right now. But once summer comes then you can figure it out. (just like he said).

    Here’s a little secret that the ealier you learn the better. Guys and Girls are wired VERY differnetly. Guys are rather direct, logical. Females are very indirrect and live on the edge of “nuance” and “symbollic meaning”. This causes tons of misunderstandings between the two.

    Guys are direct. So they take what females say at face value. The problem is females never say anything directly and only hint at it – so guys are alwyas off on what they think a girl meant. Girls are very indirect and “hint” a lot. So they take what guys say as if we only ‘hint” when we just mean what we exactly said.