What if this is as good as it gets?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What if this is as good as it gets?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    DownInAhole
    DownInAhole
    Participant
    June 30, 2017 at 1:45 pm #141159
    What if this is as good as it gets?

    So…I just turned 39. My last solid relationship was 13 years ago, ended after I was cheated on. I’ve never had the gift of gab…I’ve tried all the dating sites, I’ve tried personal approach. All the dates I’ve had in the past few years were from online, always getting rejected from the personal approach. I’ve had coaching on being confident, approachable, etc. I’m an introvert, so this is a challenge for me, but I do it. The last date I had was around this time a year ago. I promise you I’m not a phony, I’m honest and I am kind. I just feel as though I’m ready to give up and just live a single life. I don’t consider myself unattractive, but I’m definitely no athlete or model. I just don’t understand how it works these days, I guess. Does anyone else have this problem that it’s just seemingly impossible to even get a date these days? I am happy to take all advice and if it’s been tried, I’ll let you know…I’ve done this a long time. I’m just feel as though I grow tired.

    omarqasem127
    omarqasem127
    Participant
    July 1, 2017 at 3:13 am #141217

    You can but you must go out more . Maybe use some dating apps

    yuyuotome
    yuyuotome
    Participant
    July 1, 2017 at 8:18 am #141219

    You have to be patient and I think you have to go out more without the intention of meeting your soulmate, but instead finding new people. Enjoy your life, do the things you love the most, take care of yourself always; then if someone interesting shows up in your life it will be only a plus 😉

    doxawinner
    doxawinner
    Participant
    July 1, 2017 at 1:59 pm #141222

    maybe its time for you to get outta there, u know like try something new….

    kindestlass
    kindestlass
    Participant
    July 3, 2017 at 10:02 am #141212

    you just have to believe in yourself, you have to be grateful about the things you have now to attract more good things into your life. You can’t question the reasons why you couldn’t find your love by the age you have – instead of this, focus on the things that make u happy. Go out more, travel, talk to people, meet new faces and maybe – somewhere in between – you’ll find the love of your life.

    love07
    love07
    Participant
    July 5, 2017 at 11:12 am #141286

    Firstly you can’t give up. There is love out there for you. Secondly have a break from it all. Go do something you want to do, it’s time to be brave & get out of your comfort zone. Do that course you’ve always wanted to do, start a new hobby – surfing, running, painting, furniture making, dancing – whatever it is that makes you happy. Who knows who you might meet. Then tell everyone you looking to meet someone special. Tell your family, your friends, your co-workers & ask them if they know anyone they can set you up with – again it’s time to be brave & get out of your comfort zone. The next part write down what you do want, not what you don’t want. Everyone always pays attention to I don’t want a guy who does this or does that. Instead pay attention to positive qualities – being nice, being funny, etc. And then lastly try dating guys that you wouldn’t normally date.. they just might surprise you. But it’s all about being brave, letting go of being rejected & HAVING FUN. Good Luck.

    juliejones
    juliejones
    Participant
    November 13, 2017 at 10:10 am #155913

    Dating can be difficult, typically for more introverted people. It is easy to say ‘just get out there’, but for introverts this very difficult to do and feel comfortable doing. Have thought about joining a club or group with something that you are passionate about? This way you might be a more comfortable speaking to someone as you will have a common interest and not just think ‘what should I say next?’ as you might on a normal date.

    Also if you find someone you like on a dating site try and send quite a few messages to each other before you meet up with them as this might reduce some of the anxiety when you meet them face to face as you know you can have a conversation with the person.

    If you have not read ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain I would recommend you do so as she really explains the problems of being an introvert and offers some good solutions. Her TED talk is also well worth 20 minutes of your time.

    Wonder0208
    Wonder0208
    Participant
    November 25, 2017 at 6:31 pm #157351

    Maybe growing tired is the break you need to relax, focus on you and things you like to do and enjoy life and meet interesting people along the way without the expectation of dating , if you happen to meet someone with common interests and it clicks it will be a bonus on your already happy life you created by doing things you love.

    NoOneMan
    NoOneMan
    Participant
    November 26, 2017 at 12:24 am #157355

    I’m an introvert myself and have had the same problems before. Now days more women like me than I can count. What ended up really working for me was pretty much being happy. I work 40 hours a week 10 hour days. At work I’m a happy smiling person even when I don’t feel happy, but I smile because smiling makes other people smile. When I get home I take care of my responsibilities, caring for pets, getting house work done. I also go out with my hair combed, fresh deodorant, and a little cologne even if I’m just stopping to go grocery shopping. What I’m trying to get across with this is you have to be happy being the person you are everyday, radiate like a warm sun, be a gentleman who still holds doors open, and helps others out. Be confident in every task of everyday life not only just for getting women but for the lifestyle of a confident man, and women should sort of gravitate to the man who’s creating this happy life. I hope anything I said helps.

    fireys
    fireys
    Participant
    December 2, 2017 at 4:49 pm #158354
    Reply To: What if this is as good as it gets?

    Go to a dance class, that way you will meet people in a low-stress environment.