What is going on?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What is going on?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    April 4, 2019 at 3:31 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    lucciwoood98
    lucciwoood98
    Participant
    April 3, 2019 at 7:49 pm #198148
    What is going on?

    So I met this guy from a dating site and we actually knew of each other from primary school. We really hit it off and get on really well but recently he’s been barely messaging and being quick with his messages. We have been messaging for 2 months and have been on 3 dates and we have a fourth one coming up.
    So on Monday everything was fine and then he asked if I was busy on Friday and I just said that I was working till 9 on that day. And he replied saying that I could’ve come over and I replied saying that I was free after 9 and if he wanted to go to a pub after work. After this message he started to take ages to respond, but he agreed and he gave options on pubs but with him taking ages to respond and less enthusiasm in his messages it feels he either doesn’t want to go or he’s busy with work.
    It just confuses me as to why he asked me to go over his at first and after compromising he doesn’t seem to wants to go.
    I don’t really know how to take it or what to say, any suggestions?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 4, 2019 at 3:57 pm #198179

    He was hoping to get laid!!!
    Inviting you over to his place after 9PM on a Friday night in his mind increased the odds you’d have sex.
    He could dim the lights, make some cocktails, play some music, light the fireplace, and hope you’d stay the night.

    Meeting you at pub dramatically decreased the odds of you having sex with him.
    In addition it now means he would have to spend money and come up with a strategy to get you to go home with him.

    After 2 months of messaging and going on 3 dates a lot of men would be ready to “make a move”.
    Last but not least if he still has an (active dating profile) he may be keeping his options open.

    That would mean engaging with other people and possibly going out on dates.
    After all there is no such thing as being “exclusive friends”.

    My guess is he wants to find out if there is any mutual romantic/sexual interest.
    His lack of enthusiasm is due to the fact (he) believes you’re either stringing him along or you’re not “into” him.
    Always move at your own pace!

    woogs121
    woogs121
    Participant
    April 4, 2019 at 4:28 pm #198196

    I would agree with the poster above. I think it would be a good idea to clarify each of your goals for this interaction/relationship. Maybe he does not want something as serious as you do or maybe he just wants to keep it more casual for a while. Whatever the case, make sure that you are alright with this as I wouldn’t expect to try to change his desired outcomes into a larger commitment if that’s not what he is intending. Hoping for the best for you!

    blm4193
    blm4193
    Participant
    April 4, 2019 at 5:48 pm #198200

    Unfortunately it seems like he just wanted to use you as a booty call. I would move on and find someone who wants more of what you are looking for.