What is his intention?

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What is his intention?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    senior2k21
    senior2k21
    Participant
    January 17, 2019 at 9:22 pm #192910
    What is his intention?

    So I matched with a guy on Bumble a week or two before Christmas, and when I asked what’s his purpose of being on here (hookup, dating, etc), he said just to be friends first. We texted for a day and he asked for my Snapchat, and we send each other pictures of our favorite common foods to each other, sometimes he’d include himself and his friends in there too, but I just send to foods to see what’s his motivation behind it. Our messaging is very limited if not slow, it’d be maybe 3-4 texts a day with some pictures, and we kinda stopped for about 10 days after New Year’s Eve. We attend the same university so on the first day of class I messaged him and asked how are things going, and we began to pick up our convos like usual, nothing to expressed that we’re interested, just things you would say to an acquaintance friend.

    Then this weekend, I asked if he’s been to “X” coffee place, since we both love coffee, and he said no. He asked if I’ve been and I said no nut want to someday. Then

    senior2k21
    senior2k21
    Participant
    January 17, 2019 at 9:24 pm #192911

    Then he asked about my school schedule and in return and I asked his, he then commented that he have some time free between these dates, and I got the hint but want to make sure so I commented on his packed school schedule and told him what days I’m off, and he texted me back with a question asking if this X night is okay. I told him I didn’t realized he wanted to get some coffee with me and that I’m busy on that day we so scheduled it for another date. We talked casually for a few days then on Tuesday afternoon while talking about his future career aspect, he asked if he can have my phone number and talk on the phone instead. I said sure because maybe he wants to make sure I’m not gonna ghost him or something on our coffee date. He wanted to call me later in the night but it was too late for me (11pm) and I have an early morning class, so he said tomorrow night he’ll call.

    senior2k21
    senior2k21
    Participant
    January 18, 2019 at 8:29 am #192912

    I think that at this point he escalated things up a bit (?), since the next morning he said he won’t be able to answer any texts until a certain time because of work. Noted, the entire time that we’ve been Snapchatting he takes a long time to reply, mostly 3-4 hours in between, but now he’s informing me of his work/school schedules so I’m getting the vibe that he’s telling me he legitimately cannot answer my texts. Later that night (Wed), he called and we talked, mostly about our families, school, hobbies, etc, all the things you usually share when you matched with a potential date interest on dating apps. He said he prefers talking on the phone rather than texting since we can convey our emotions better and honestly I enjoyed talking to him. After about 40 minutes or so, I told him I have to get ready for tomorrow, and said we can talk tomorrow or later the night if he’s not already sleeping, and he did not directly say later tonight but rather “Yeah” to my question and I have to

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 4:26 pm #193466

    “What is his intention?”
    The purpose of joining an online dating site/app is to meet (new) people.
    Anything after that will depend on (who) you meet, if you’re compatible, and if there is any chemistry.
    Essentially you have to invest some time getting to know a person before you can declare if you want them in your life at all.

    Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    Each of us has our own mate selection/screening process and “must haves list”.
    Each of us has our own boundaries and “deal breakers”.

    Nothing happens until (you) say “yes” to someone.
    The real question is: What is YOUR intention?

    Knowing what you want should determine where you shop.

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 7:16 pm #193475

    From your description of the communication with this young man it sounds like your connection has been expanding from a text to a 40 minute phone conversation. What are you feeling that he did not directly say later tonight but rather “Yeah” to your question? What are you concerned about?
    I look forward to reading your responses and then I will be in a better place to provide my reflections.