What Just Happened

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What Just Happened

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 11:16 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    JaneDoe99
    JaneDoe99
    Participant
    September 26, 2018 at 10:25 am #185392
    What Just Happened

    I met a man about 2 months ago. We started sleeping together rather quickly (my mistake b/c he gave me an std, he did tell me and we discussed, got treated and moved on). The sex was great–he texted me often and said things like “i care about you” and other comments that led me to believe it was more than a hookup. Then we had plans last Friday and he texted me that he had to cancel because he didnt feel good. Then silence. Monday afternoon I texted and asked if he was blowing me off for good. He said no, that he had his sons birthday party over the weekend and was busy. i said that sounds like BS and asked if i have been wasting my time….anyway, the convo ended with him saying he would like to spend time with me, and now its Thursday, silence. I deleted him from my contacts but I am so confused as to what happened. I believe he was seeing other people but just cannot understand the dishonesty and the blow off. This dude is 41 btw….WTF happened?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    September 27, 2018 at 12:53 am #185464

    “The sex was great…”
    “..he texted me often and said things like “i care about you”
    “I texted and asked if he was blowing me off for good.”
    ” i said that sounds like BS and asked if i have been wasting my time”

    From what you’ve written it sounds like he also felt like the sex was GREAT!
    Clearly he wanted to come back for more however he didn’t want an “exclusive relationship” with you.
    Odds are your (in your face direct responses) regarding telling him his reasons were “BS” and asking if you were wasting your time struck a nerve.

    That type of assertiveness may have been a complete turn off especially since you’ve only known each other 2 months.
    It’s the equivalent of asking someone “Where are we going with this?” or “What are we?” after only a (few weeks) of meeting.
    From his point of view things went from (having fun and enjoying each other’s company) to having pressure applied.
    He wanted a “friends with benefits” and you seem to be {demanding} more. He decided to back off.

    italostalo
    italostalo
    Participant
    September 27, 2018 at 12:55 am #185465

    Hey there Jane! in my experience actions speak louder than words. Some men have trouble confronting things like this, and I will admit I have been guilty of this very thing myself. He honestly sounds like he’s keeping you in his back pocket and does not want anything serious with you, I’ve also dealt with very thing you’re experiencing. In my experience its best to keep your chin up and move on.

    jadela
    jadela
    Participant
    September 29, 2018 at 7:42 pm #185764

    “From his point of view things went from (having fun and enjoying each other’s company) to having pressure applied.
    He wanted a “friends with benefits” and you seem to be {demanding} more. He decided to back off.”

    “actions speak louder than words.”

    ^seconding these!

    I think you should certainly move on and just forget about him unless you just want a good hook up without any attachments but it doesnt seem thats the case here—more fish in the sea 🙂

    MiaSara
    MiaSara
    Participant
    October 1, 2018 at 8:54 am #185788

    Ditto the above comments- move on. He wants to keep things easy peasy, light and breezy. You confronting him probably turned him off.

    MattieT51
    MattieT51
    Participant
    November 29, 2018 at 1:53 pm #190240

    Yes, sounds like he just wanted to situationship. Although that may suck, at least you learned very quickly and can now move on.