What should I do?


What should I do?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 21, 2018 at 1:59 am #174672
    What should I do?

    This girl I’ve been having a crush on for years just came out of a serious 5 year relationship. We generally talk a lot on the phone and I got the feeling that she likes me too. Since I knew she liked to hangout, I asked her out and made my intentions known, to which she said she was unsure. After dinner we cuddled up in a couch and talked. When she got home she texted me saying that she had a great time and we spoke on the phone until she fell asleep. The next morning we texted a little more and she said she missed me. Towards the evening she said she doesn’t want to lead me on, that she likes hanging out but if this all goes south she doesn’t want to lose me as a friend. I told her that I really liked her and that I would hold on to her until such time she’s ready, to which she seemed fine. However, after a while she stopped texting/calling (like we usually did). I asked her once is she is feeling alright and she said she’s confused about something and it not going the way she wanted…

    May 21, 2018 at 2:03 am #174673

    … I asked her if she wanted to talk about it (as we usually would whenever either of us had any problem) and she said she does not. I’m confused as to what brought it on. It has been 2 days since it happened and she still hasn’t texted/called me in the way we usually do. She hangs out with other friends (including guys) too. She’s also got her exams coming up soon and has her mind fixated on passing those as well (since she flunked it once).

    I really need to know what I should do. She’s gorgeous, kind, intelligent and is honestly perfect! And I really, really want to get into a relationship with her. Can someone tell me what I should do here, coz it’s honestly killing me.

    May 21, 2018 at 1:05 pm #174788

    Hey there,

    In my experience, when a girl is telling you she is “confused” about where things are going, it is usually not a great sign. Remember, girls who are interested are going to make it easy for you to figure things out. She wouldn’t be “confused” if she really wanted to spend time with you, hang out, and date. She wouldn’t be saying things like “I don’t want to lead you on..” I’m sorry to have to tell you, but she doesn’t seem interested. You may want to chalk this one up to experience and move on.

    As far as your first post-boyfriend hangout is concerned, it’s possible that she was feeling you in that moment, and then later on after that night, realized that you’re not quite her cup of tea. It happens, unfortunately, and she probably doesn’t know how to tell you directly. So, you’ve got to learn to pick up on her cues. Don’t get bogged down with this one, just keep looking for girls who are not “confused: about whether they want to spend time with you. Good luck!

    May 25, 2018 at 3:33 pm #175348

    It seems as though this girl is interested in being friends and nothing more. When she says she doesn’t want to lead you on, that’s telling. Most girls won’t say things along those lines. They’ll just ignore you or say they are busy so as to avoid hurting your feelings. She’s letting you know that you shouldn’t waste your time. I would recommend seeing other women. If she is genuinely interested in you she’ll get in contact with you and try to give it a shot.

    May 26, 2018 at 5:05 pm #175395

    maybe give her space.

    June 5, 2018 at 2:11 am #176199

    Hey, I think that you should give her some time for her to think about things. I am in the same situation, except its the other way around. My bestfriend just told me that he likes me. And I like hanging out with him, and we have a good time and all but the timing has been off as I just got out of a relationship and I am not ready to jump into another one. Especially with him because I dont want to “use” him or hurt him if it doesn’t work out. I care about our friendship and I know that it would hurt me and him if we end in bad terms. All I can say is to give her some space to figure it out. maybe she does like you but does not exactly know yet or isn’t sure and is scared.

    June 6, 2018 at 11:41 pm #176422

    Listen to her and be honest. Don’t try to turn water into wine, and don’t be too eager to rush into things. Give it some time and talk to her again when she has had time to think; you don’t want to pressure her.