What should i do???

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What should i do???

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    May 5, 2019 at 8:32 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    pathetic101
    pathetic101
    Participant
    March 29, 2019 at 9:01 am #197920
    What should i do???

    Hi! I am a bisexual teenager (girl) and i have a crush on a girl from my band and i really like her. i came out to her and she is rlly cool about it. turns out she knew before i told her about it. we hang out a lot on band rehearsals and we listen to the same music. we also text sometimes but i usually start the conversation. one time i asked her to just walk around together and she took me to some “hidden” place in our city which was really beautiful… we just sat around for a while and i told her i have a crush on a girl but dont know if shes straight and dont know what to do (i was talking about her but i obviously didnt say that it was her). she told me that i can just ask her but there is a 90% chance she is straight… i didnt ask her that day and i guess i indirectly asked her later but not really… i think she maybe gave me a clue by wearing a flannel the rehearsal after i came out to her (the same day she talked about some stereotypes and i was just like okay…).

    pathetic101
    pathetic101
    Participant
    March 29, 2019 at 11:48 am #197921

    sometimes i just wanna say fuck it and tell her i like her, but i never do and i think its better to keep my feelings all to myself so i dont ruin our friendship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO HELP PLEASE

    pathetic101
    pathetic101
    Participant
    March 29, 2019 at 11:48 am #197922

    SOOO i dont know if i should tell her i like her or keep my feelings to myself for the sake of keeping our friendship alive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ PLEASE HELP

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 29, 2019 at 9:43 pm #197936

    You have spent one on one time with her, you usually (initiate the conversations), and you asked her to go for a walk.
    Once you came out she had every opportunity to reveal to you if she too were lesbian or bisexual but {she did not}.
    Her statement regarding your secret crush on a girl: “… there is a 90% chance she is straight” is fairly accurate.

    According to a recent Gallup Poll:
    “The percentage of American adults identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) increased to 4.5% in 2017”
    Essentially the survey is stating (95.5%) of people in the U.S. identify themselves as being straight.

    Being in the “friend zone” whether one is straight or gay is never a fun place to be in.
    If you tell her how you feel about her it may put your friendship at risk.
    Only you can determine if it’s worth the risk.

    Having said that with you being teenagers odds are against her being your “soulmate”
    Ultimately you really don’t have much to lose. It won’t likely last either way.

    whitewave90
    whitewave90
    Participant
    March 30, 2019 at 6:06 pm #197951

    Hi, I can really empathise how you feel at the moment. I’m 28 and kinda going through the same thing… tho I don’t know the woman as well as you know your friend.
    As you are so close to her, maybe instead of coming out and saying ‘I like you’ you could start talking about how sexuality can be fluid , I think especially for woman.
    Like ask her if she’s ever been curious or had a crush on a girl, even a celebrity? it might be easier than like confronting her ‘are you gay’
    I always though of myself as bi-curious, kissed girls and things when drunk, pretty much always watch lesbian when I watch porn.
    Maybe talk to her about the mixed/confusing feelings maybe? or anyway how your feelings about sex and girls and stuff changed when you realised you were gay/ bi.
    Maybe start talking to her ‘so have you ever fancied/ fantasised about a female celebrity or anyone? A lot of girls/women do even if its just curiosity’ then see what she says.
    Feel the ground out like
    good luck 🙂
    (ps update us) 🙂

    whitewave90
    whitewave90
    Participant
    March 30, 2019 at 6:17 pm #197952

    Also, if you want to check my question and give some advice/ insight I would be greatful. no one else seems to want to help :/
    we seem to be in a similar situation, though obviously your younger (I don’t know how old you are) but if you’ve had gay relationships before, you know how the flirting between girls works better than me lol.
    me/her r both feminine, long hair, light make-up, i’m a slight tomboy in attitude I guess.
    when I was a teen me and my friends (all straight) talked about boys & girls & that we had curiousity. I think alot of women (in my limited experience) that have never had a gay relationship are open if the right situation came up.
    for me (maybe others) it was nerve wrecking enough loosing my virginity the first time around with a guy, then to learn the ropes all over again, it’s easier to not take that nerve-wrecking step in real life, instead forever fantasise. until you meet someone you REALLY like that is lol.
    that’s why im screwed & not in a good way lol

    astacif
    astacif
    Participant
    April 2, 2019 at 1:59 pm #198053

    I think you need to just go for it and tell her you like her. You’ll never know if you don’t try! If you’re worried about losing the friendship, make it clear that you would like to stay friends, if that’s true for you.