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nerdybutniceParticipantSeptember 29, 2016 at 3:19 pm #112832
I have feelings for my closest guy mate. No idea how he feels. He asked me for advice on how to ask my best friend out about a year ago, she didn’t like him and everyone moved on.
Questioning his feelings because he offered to be my +1 to a lecture he isn’t super interested in which means is taking 2 days off, bought train tickets and will be staying in a hotel room with me to support me? Or he just wants to chill with his friend because we haven’t seen each other lately (university).
My question is do I say something to him? Do I admit it to my best friend that I have feelings for him and see what she says.
From a guys perspective, if a friend who is overweight and short and weird tells you they like you do you run away never to talk to them again?
If you think I should just tell him, how should I do it? Also should I do it when we are alone at the hotel after the lecture?
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Df5mParticipantSeptember 30, 2016 at 8:41 am #112851
It honestly depends on the guy. I personally would never do that – I’ve had friends tell me that they liked me and I didn’t feel anything for them. Within a day or two we back to acting normal.
SantiagoParticipantOctober 1, 2016 at 7:39 pm #112916
Don’t disclose your feelings. If those feelings are not reciprocal, you’ll get hurt and the frinedship may suffer.
Try This: Have fun, handle the sexual tension by using the power of your femininity.
Meaning, go out with him, have fun and get touchy. Don’t jump on him until you sense that she’s responding to your touch and vibe. And then let him chase you.
And let it flow. But no feeling talk.
ThatOneGuy18ParticipantOctober 2, 2016 at 12:36 pm #112935
Just flirt and gauge his response, push the boundaries but don’t just flat out tell him.
ch914ParticipantOctober 2, 2016 at 7:51 pm #112954
I can’t creat my own thread unlessI reply for two. I am not an expert so let me just stop by. Thanks.
TnekKralcParticipantOctober 8, 2016 at 7:10 am #113513
I feel the flirting and touching advice is the most likely to get results. For me despite being reasonably attractive i almost never get hit on. If a woman were to then I would certainly consider it. The trip is a very good indication he’d consider it. If on it you get an opportunity to say “I’m feeling really stressed would you give me a shoulder massage?” Then after a short bit ask for him to move to your back, hand him some lotion and just take off your shirt and lie face down. Physical touch is very arousing and we increase the chances of not just sexual but romantic intimacy.
keanu1120ParticipantOctober 13, 2016 at 1:09 am #113972
Honestly, I think he has been treating you the way he’d treat any close friend, even factoring in the trip. The big tell to me is asking you how to ask out your friend. If you’re hoping for more, you need to ask yourself whether you’re willing to risk losing him as a friend. The reason is because if you tell him how you feel, things could get awkward if he doesn’t feel the same & that could ruin the friendship you already have. If you decide that you’re willing to risk it, then before saying anything you should increase your chances of success as much as possible. Right now, I think he only sees you as a close friend so if you tell him how you feel I don’t think it’ll end the way you want. What you need to do is make him stop seeing you solely in terms of being a friend. You do that by putting some distance between you two by doing less hanging out, sharing, etc. It sounds counterintuitive, but if he only sees you as a close friend then he doesn’t have room to see you as anything else.
emilyrooneyParticipantOctober 13, 2016 at 12:26 pm #114012
i will like to be kind and honest with you, i am a woman that have seen life, i have been in the social circle for many years, although it does not matter one’s age, color or achievement, what matters in our life is your kindness
elitepro8ParticipantOctober 14, 2016 at 12:28 pm #114123
First, if he truly is your best friend, no matter what he will not run away and never talk to you again. I don’t see anything wrong with be honest to yourself and him. But as other guys have said, it depends on him. He may react different than you expect or want. Or he may have the same feelings for you. What is life like without any risks? Isn’t your life worth taking a risk on love? However proceed with cation. Maybe test the waters and give an example like tell a story about your situation about a movie you saw (explaining your feelings) and see how he reacts to it. That way you can see how he feels without actually spilling the beans and your heart stay protected and your friendship intact. If he is your best friend he will understand no matter what and hopefully be honest with you back.
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