What to do

DATING ADVICE FORUM

What to do

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    January 9, 2020 at 4:13 pm #227595
    What to do

    I was talking to a woman for months in IG before we went out on 1 “date” she seemed interested after the date. We only met up once and kept it on phone/social media. She eventually said her feelings have changed ( lust/attraction). We were both in A LOOOOTT of lust, but i didnt act on it, quick enough. I responded with ok let me know when your schedule clears up. We communicate occasionally on IG., but nothing crazy. Her main gripe was i wasnt setting up dates ( which was true) If she does reach out how would i show her ill set up dates , giving her a definite date & time. Ill set them up each week.

    When we were speaking and even now isnt a good time to even be in a relationship but i was very drawn to her, when i get my shit together, ill reach out again unless she does it first but in the meantime i wont pursue. Our views on kids/marriage differend but we still kept talking & met up that ine time & kept talking on ig, until she said her feelings changed.

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    January 9, 2020 at 4:23 pm #227601

    We follow eqch other on social media & view & occasionally like each others post, i know this probably means nothing but do you think i shoukd disappear for s little bit so her feelings “reset”. I dont think ill reach out to her first though, she probably will through ig reacting to something i post, what would be the best way to move forward after some time has passed.

    herkamer63
    herkamer63
    Participant
    January 10, 2020 at 9:24 am #227648

    To give you some context, I recently asked a woman out on a date, but she said she had a boyfriend. However, she told me she would be interested as friends to catch some lunch and she told me to message her. I did just that because I did like her and she responded with the “checking her schedule” routine. She had had not got back to me in over a week. Granted, we’re still friends but I’m no longer pursuing her and decided to look else where. I may have someone that might be interested. Won’t know until I ask her, but I’m also keeping my options open.

    What I’m getting at is this: find someone else and keep your options open as well. Don’t get strung out of shape because of social media. Keep this in mind as well, the best relationships are the ones that you establish outside of social media because it’s real. Social media can be so fake at times it could drive you to the point of insanity. In any case, get out of the house, go to places where there are people, and start mingling!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 10, 2020 at 9:24 am #227649

    “She eventually said her feelings have changed ( lust/attraction).”
    “Her main gripe was i wasnt setting up dates ( which was true) ”
    “If she does reach out how would i show her ill set up dates…”
    “…Our views on kids/marriage differend but we still kept talking & met up”

    Dating isn’t ALWAYS about finding your “soulmate” or falling “in love”.
    Sometimes people date for FUN, companionship, and enjoying social activities.
    Loosen up! Casual dating isn’t a bad thing.

    This woman essentially told you she was {horny and attracted to you}!
    Instead of rushing over to jump in bed you’re wasting time going over (her views on marriage and kids)!
    Seriously?

    The fact you haven’t been setting up dates with her is a form of REJECTION from her point of view.
    After putting herself out there with no action on your part it’s doubtful she’s going to reach out to YOU.
    Most people don’t enjoy being sexually frustrated! They’ll find someone who is willing to give them what they want.

    ghost86
    ghost86
    Participant
    January 11, 2020 at 1:31 am #227666

    I know i wasnt looking for a soulmate , in the beginning i just wanted some ***£ but then as we continued to talk i wanted to know her as a person as she did me. I wouldnt i was in love by any means , maybe a little infatuated or lusting hard.

    The reason i didnt go jump her bones wasnt because she wanted kids/marriage .. i was just being stupid , taking her for granted like oh she’s not going anywhere. I waited WAY too long to meet her

    Yeah i can see how my not setting up dates is seen as rejecting her on my part. We did go on one “date” but even setting that up was a problem cuz i told her “maybe “ ill be able to see u on such & such date. She wanted concrete plans which i couldnt give due to some external circumstances. If i would of said this date & this time and i cant make it she’d be upset also. She would ask me “dont you want me?” Id say yes but my actions weren’t showing that cuz i did nothing

    How would I correct this situation if its possible & show her im serius.