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zazazParticipantJune 29, 2018 at 11:39 am #178362
I’ve been together with my girlfriend for 1 year+. It is the time of finals right now, so I’ve had quite some time because I’ve finished everything but she has to work really hard to finish all the exams. So for the past month or so, she has been acting very distant. Let me point out that we talk a lot and hang together a lot over the year. So I’ve asked her about it, and she said everything was fine, that she is just too busy and doesn’t have time for me as much. I accepted that and everything has been quite okay until today. Today she mentioned that I complained about this, and she thinks that it is not reasonable – because I’ve done the same thing to her last year and she didn’t say anything. We’ve basically got in a huge fight, for the first time actually, and I called her later on. So I talked for the 3rd time about why is she distant and what I feel. She said that I have to understand that I’m just pushing her away with the same problems, that she is busy. What to do?
Aka AkumaParticipantJune 29, 2018 at 3:36 pm #178376
The real issue here is “YOU.” You are way too over-invested in her. You obviously need her more than she needs you. You have become a “needy boyfriend.” This is very unattractive and you have actually irritated her to a point of a fight! This is a serious attraction killer and you are dooming your relationships with this behavior. Why are you so needy? My guess is that this is your first girlfriend or the first one that you actually like. You also have nothing else of value going on in your life. I recommend beginning a quest of self discovery and self improvement. You need to develop life long personal interests/passions. Video/computer/phone games, binge television shows and pornography are not interests, they are perversions. Stop these activities now! Involve yourself with something that is real, that you enjoy and that has a challenge. Dive into it with full passion. Women are secondary to your passions and your passion will make you immensely attractive.
Aka AkumaParticipantJune 29, 2018 at 3:36 pm #178377
I recommend that purchase and read the first couple chapters in the recent book by Andrew Ferebee titled “The Dating Playbook for Men.” Purchase the book and don’t listen to it on audible. This book is a pinnacle compilation of decades of PUA advice and is worth reading with a highlighter, taking notes, making note in the margins and re-reading. The first chapter addresses your issue and explains the failure of modern men without a life passion.
andrewmark15ParticipantJune 30, 2018 at 3:06 am #178504
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zazazParticipantJune 30, 2018 at 3:22 am #178505
Aka Akuma, you are abosulutelly 100% right. I have a lot of things going on in my life during the year, a lot of passion, I’ve just give myself some free time. I know I’m being to needy because I have too much free time to overthink everything. Maybe I should put my question differently – what to do regarding messaging my girlfriend? Giving her space and time would be the correct step right?
dashingscorpioParticipantJune 30, 2018 at 12:30 pm #178515
Give her the space she asked for! It’s that simple.
She’s serious about doing well on her exams or she wants out of the relationship.
Either way it’s not up to you. If she’s not “into you” then she’s not “the one” for you.
One thing is for certain when someone keeps applying pressure the other person usually quits or throws in the towel.
No one wants to feel pestered. They’d rather be alone than to have to put up with crap.
Don’t you have a life outside of your girlfriend? Hobbies? Friends? Family?
Final exams aren’t going to last a lifetime!
Even if in the end she doesn’t want to be with you then you’ll find another girlfriend.
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!
Every ending is a new beginning!
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 4 days ago by dashingscorpio.
paxandqParticipantJuly 2, 2018 at 6:00 am #178567
Let her be. Look at the bigger picture. If you want the best for her you want her to pass the exams. You are just taking her focus away from the exams and putting more expectations on her.
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