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maka55ParticipantOctober 2, 2018 at 7:12 pm #185985
My ex and i follow each other’s locations and social media. We went to a game this weekend and were acting like a couple again. I asked him if he was happier being alone and he said he enjoyed coming home and not having to check in with anyone and to do any upkeep. This obviously hurt me because right now i feel like he is eating his cake and having it too. He doesn’t have to talk to me and do the upkeep of the relationship but whenever he wants, i will be there. I know that the right thing to do is cut him off but i genuinely love and care for him and i feel like doing that will be the last step and i will have to move on. This past weekend he went back to being sweet to me and loving me and talking of the future and our kids. I do think he is confused and doesn’t know what he wants but i feel like i am making it too easy for him to get away with all of this. I know i will get responses saying “cut him off” but what do you guys think is going through his head? Why cant he let me go?
richiroParticipantOctober 5, 2018 at 5:57 pm #186404
yes i’m quite sure you do love him.
but he is having his cake and eat it too so i don’t thikn he loves you.
love takes 2, not 1
you can’t “love him so much” that he’ll love you back. you already know this b/c look at what’s happening now.
leaving him is a last resort, b/c it means it’s over. But at sometime you have to make the decision if this is how you want the rest of your life to be, or do you want somethign else. if you want something else – then you have no choice but to leave this behind to allow you to find somethign else.
dashingscorpioParticipantOctober 7, 2018 at 4:30 pm #186420
“He doesn’t have to talk to me and do the upkeep of the relationship but whenever he wants, i will be there.”
” i am making it too easy for him to get away with all of this.
“Why cant he let me go?”
Because you’re “low hanging fruit”!
Lots of men would love to have a “booty call” or “friends with benefits” arrangement.
Suffering is optional.
So the real questions is: Why can’t YOU let HIM go?
In order for (him) to be “the one” he would have to see (you) as being “the one”.
At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually wants to be with you!
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us.
Love yourself enough not to go from being his girlfriend to being his sperm depository.
“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde
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