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lost1003ParticipantMarch 7, 2016 at 3:44 am #95100
My boyfriend & I been together almost a yr, both in our 40’s. Both said we love each other. We have outside life complexities that are weighing on us as individuals. Been getting to him a lot more bc he has 2 kids & a lot of responsibility at work. He’s been withdrawn lately in which he’s acknowledged on his own & said he’s sorry. We talked about it (initiated by him). I was understanding. Asked if he needs space or if he needs a break from this right now. He said he doesn’t want to talk about us losing each other (his words) & doesn’t know if he needs space. He simply doesn’t know what to do. Outside pressure is getting to him making him unhappy (not unhappy w me, just predicament). He said last thing he ever wants to do is hurt my beautiful precious heart(his words). I can feel a big difference from him. He’s holding back a lot. How do I handle him withdrawing when he hasn’t asked for space? Not initiate contact at all & wait for him to come to me every time?
lost1003ParticipantMarch 7, 2016 at 3:54 am #95101
PART 2: I feel like he’s been honest with how he feels when he says he’s just not sure what to do. He certainly sounded upset about us losing each other. I would think if he’s had a change of heart and didn’t want this anymore he’d say when I asked. It’s also the things he’s not saying…like he used to say he missed me all the time, he’d call me sweet pet names & we had our own acronyms like LLL for Like, Lust, Love you….etc. Those have become sparse. I’m not sure if I should give space without him asking…leave him alone all together & let him come to me….no initiating anything. Or send him my usual good morning text like I do when I wake up, but be sparse. I don’t want to make him feel like I’m giving up if he doesn’t want to…but I also don’t want to be stung along. I just feel stuck.
slave2endParticipantMarch 7, 2016 at 6:41 am #95113
be patient give him some time. it is still a new relationship, just 1 year. some guys do not like to be pushed. being in a committed relationship means they loose their freedom. I know it sounds silly but most men think this way. I know, I have been through it. they have feelings and some guys do not know how to handle them. if he truly loves you, he will be back. it is hard. you know what I am going through and I have not finally walked away yet. I am just waiting till he contacts me. I will give him 2 weeks. if he doesn’t than I will send a message saying I made the mistake. that was his words when he wanted to meet me for the first time. some guys have to process everything. give it time. if he doesn’t contact you in 2 weeks, just send a text saying, thinking about you and hope everything is alright……….if he responds then he cares………best of luck!
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