What would you do?

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What would you do?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    phantomlady
    phantomlady
    Participant
    April 28, 2019 at 6:07 pm #199356
    What would you do?

    If you were dating a man for over a year, you were deeply in love with him. He seems like he is the perfect gentleman, kind, sweet, honest, faithful.
    Then as fate would have it, you find out that he had been with a hooker in his past. Not just once either but quite a few times.
    Your image of him would be all messed up and your head would wonder how/why and who is he, really?

    But obviously this all happened before you met him, how do you react? Are you fine with it? Do you go back to same ole as usual? Are you sickened by it and consider if you should remain with a man capable of doing these things?

    I don’t care what anyone says, it’s not a really bad ex, it’s not him dating someone from the past you can’t stand or someone you think is not nice what so ever…this is a hooker. A prostitute. Someone who is paid to do all sorts of sex acts with hundreds of men.
    It is dirty and fairly gross.
    So? How do you handle it?

    • This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by phantomlady phantomlady.
    healthyandhappy
    healthyandhappy
    Participant
    April 29, 2019 at 9:25 pm #199469

    First, “physical”. Is he clean? Disease free? The how and why of past sex is less important that his condition today.

    Second, “behavior”. How did you learn about this and why did he do so? Are those conditions likely to re-emerge if he had a wonderful partner like you? If so, this is a real risk for your health and happiness and from your statements, sounds like a deal breaker. If not, then no matter how many he’s had in the past, he’s unlikely to do so in the future. There are many reasons he might have done so that may never again occur.

    Third, YOU. Are you intimidated by his past experience with “professionals”? Do you feel uneasy about being able to satisfy him? Can you ignore that he look at him with the same love you had for him before you knew, or is he tainted and you cannot get over it?

    An aside: Often viewed as immoral, but prostitution is usually between consenting adults and both are better off. There is far, far worse and less honest sex in the world.

    phantomlady
    phantomlady
    Participant
    May 1, 2019 at 9:25 pm #199652

    “consenting adults and both are better off’

    Maybe you’re unaware that 90% of hookers are drug users. A mentally happy woman wouldn’t consent to this degrading lifestyle.
    It’s not much different for a man, a man typically wants a girlfriend of his own. I am assuming most go to hookers due to their love life being quite sad.
    (this was the case with my bf).
    These are not fairy tale meetings, they are the last resort and many have come out from them and have acquired HIV or other Stds.
    There are also pimps involved and it can be dangerous.
    Anyone considering this should realize there are very real risks to your health and safety, maybe even to your mental well being as it can’t be a nice thing to know that you have to pay for someone to touch you.
    It’s a sad case all around.

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by phantomlady phantomlady. Reason: typo
    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 2, 2019 at 2:24 pm #199744

    “If you were dating a man for over a year, you were {deeply in love with him}.”
    “He seems like he is the perfect gentleman, {kind, sweet, honest, faithful.}”

    My advice if you’re {in love} with a guy who is kind, sweet, honest, and faithful… (hold onto him!)
    People have a way of looking for (reasons) to sabotage their good fortune. It’s the “too good to be true”.
    Oftentimes immature young men will ask their girlfriend how many sexual partners they have.
    If she has had more partners than him or has engaged in threesomes or whatever he’s ready to dump her.
    Even strippers, porn stars, and hookers get married!

    Judging someone by what they did before they knew you or evolved says more about you than them.
    “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”

    Ecclesiastes 7:20 “For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.”

    Having said that everyone is entitled to have their own boundaries and “deal breakers”.
    Odds are a “perfect gentleman” who is kind, sweet, and faithful will not have a difficult time finding a new woman.