When a girl says she needs head space regarding her ex but adds you on socials

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When a girl says she needs head space regarding her ex but adds you on socials

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    April 4, 2020 at 11:59 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    elman123
    elman123
    Participant
    February 16, 2020 at 10:29 pm #229732
    When a girl says she needs head space regarding her ex but adds you on socials

    So I went on 3 dates with this girl that I matched on Hinge and have been speaking to her for a solid 2 months every other day.

    Things were going really well, both enjoying getting to know each other, agreed to take things slow, she took a keen interest and followed me on my socials, liking some of the photos.

    To continue after a great 3rd date, we kissed during the date. At the end of the date we started to talk more in depth she explained how she’d seen her ex over xmas when she went back home and he pleaded for her to get back with him….(Although she said she didn’t want to get back with him)

    When she got in she was texting me lots after then we left it for the weekend. *She added me on Facebook on the Sunday*

    Monday I sent her a message to receive a text back saying she’s really enjoyed hanging out but doesn’t want to meet up again for the moment as she needs headspace regarding her ex …ive respected that. But its been over 2 weeks…not heard anything. Thoughts?

    Sanny_L
    Sanny_L
    Participant
    February 16, 2020 at 10:50 pm #229734

    I feel that although she said she has no intention of getting back with her ex, she was very disturbed by his plea. She probably still has some feelings for him but at the same thing thinking it’s a bad idea getting back. So at this moment, she doesn’t have much space left to have another guy in her mind, that’s why she said she needs head space.

    The reason for friending you on social media, is to keep you close but at friends for now. She obviously likes you, but when her ex showed up that like became less romantically. Maybe try supporting as a friend for now, like or comment on her new photos and not mention if she has cleared her thoughts, not yet at least, perhaps give it a couple more weeks and then lightly bring it up as friends without sounding like you are making her choose.

    elman123
    elman123
    Participant
    February 17, 2020 at 8:16 am #229748

    Yes agreed she was definitely spooked by his actions and of course there will still be feelings, she said it was the first time she had seen him since they broke up over a year ago.

    I understand the head space thing too…which I replied stating and for her to take it easy and figure things out. It’s just very difficult to gauge the time barometer on such situations. Would being active on her on social media not push her further away if she’s asked for headspace? As so far I’ve been distant and not spoken to her on any platform to allow her space since…however she appears to be watching every one on my Instagram stories on my accounts.

    It’s all very confusing behaviour to say the least!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 17, 2020 at 10:26 am #229788

    “she’s really enjoyed {hanging out} but doesn’t want to meet up again for the moment as she needs headspace regarding her ex”

    Facts
    1. She’s has an active dating profile on Hinge
    2. You’ve been communicating with each other for (2 months) every other day
    3. Per YOU there have been (3 dates) but for HER you’ve been “hanging out”

    Whenever someone is actually “into” a person they seek to avoid bringing up their ex.
    One would think after sharing some kisses and having consistent communication for two months the attraction increases.

    Here’s the true test: if she still has an active Hinge or other dating app/site she is NOT looking for “headspace”!
    Rejection comes in many forms and one of them is the old: “It’s not you, it’s me.” explanation for creating distance.
    Another popular way these days is to simply “ghost” someone. She chose the “polite” way.

    My guess is she likes you as a (friend) but is not romantically interested in you.
    Needing ‘headspace” avoids hurt feelings. Also most people don’t want to feel like a “bad guy”.

    elman123
    elman123
    Participant
    February 17, 2020 at 11:58 am #229799

    Her exact words – Hey, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, the dates have such been so much fun and really unique. However I don’t want to meet up again for the moment as I need some headspace regarding my ex….sorry 🙁

    I was classing it as hanging out to bare less pressure to the situation when talking to her, also she had brought up her ex in two conversations so I asked her about if she didn’t mind elaborating on it.

    She could well still be active on Hinge, I’m not sure…probably! Fair point.

    As for 3 she referred to them as dates in her text, I referred to them as hanging out as that’s what we had agreed to do when taking things slow.

    It wouldn’t make sense to view every Instagram story without an interest, there was around 40 last night on one of my accounts and she viewed every one…its highly confusing. As you say maybe she is being polite and turning away but I have a inkling this might not be the case and will chat about this when I message in a few weeks

    Ariana
    Ariana
    Participant
    February 18, 2020 at 3:09 am #229802

    I will say it bluntly and harsh because I think there is no ‘nice’ way to tell someone that you don’t want to meet again. This is the general excuse that I used very often when i met a guy that i already saw as not fitting to me and my personality or whom i considered to never be really interested in. I hope that helps you to move on and find a girl that is fancied by you right from the start.