Where do I go from here?


Where do I go from here?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    July 28, 2018 at 9:11 am #180426
    Where do I go from here?

    Six months ago, I started coming out and met this guy on Grindr. We went on a brunch date, it went well and we kept going out. We only hugged so, I thought he just wanted to be friends. I didn’t know what to do so, I texted him and said I wanted to go slow. He said “I see this as friend making.” Well, I dated a few other guys but kept coming back. One night, I leaned in and kissed him and after a minute he said he had to leave. He seemed nervous. We texted but he didn’t want to make plans so, after a couple weeks of I was like, I’m just coming out, this is confusing, let’s be friends.

    Now we’re in this pseudo friendship, it’s kind of awkward. Since we are just friends I didn’t text him for a couple days (we typically communicate every other day) and he sent me a message at midnight that said “I hope you had a nice weekend?” This was uncharacteristic. I learned that this guy had just ended a relationship when we met so, that brings some clarity but, should I tell him how I feel?

    July 28, 2018 at 4:11 pm #180433

    “I thought he just wanted to be friends…..I texted him and said I wanted to go slow.”
    “He said “I see this as friend making.”
    ” I leaned in and kissed him and after a minute he said he had to leave.”

    The only thing that’s “awkward” about this friendship is you told him one thing and then tried to kiss him.
    If someone is truly “into you” they’re not going to risk leaving you on the {open market} for very long.
    You admitted (you) sensed he just wanted to be friends.

    You have to be honest with yourself as to whether or not you can be happy just being platonic friends.
    If the kiss is a “one off” then you should apologize to him for crossing the line and let him know it’ll never happen again.
    From here on out when you’re hanging out together make sure the conversation includes talk about recent dates you’ve had. True “platonic friends” can talk about their dating experiences with one another and give each other advice…..etc
    A pseudo friendship is being in the “friend zone”.

    July 29, 2018 at 12:19 am #180439

    Thanks for your thoughts. You’re probably right. If something was going to happen, it would have happened. I have a tendency to over think and to let my thoughts run wild. Im still a little new to dating men and it’s very challenging because sometimes you just meet a good friend and other times you meet someone you could date. I guess the hope is that they are one in the same.