Where do I Start?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Where do I Start?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Woozy
    Woozy
    Participant
    September 8, 2018 at 5:42 pm #183766
    Where do I Start?

    I’m a 24 year old young professional who is reasonably attractive, confident, and charismatic. I have no issues talking to women and I am mostly comfortable with myself. The problem is, I have no idea where to start moving things forward.
    My last relationship started in high school and ended my senior year of college. I haven’t dated many women, and I’ve been single for about three years now. I’m not unhappy, but I’d like to start dating again. I’ve just been away from it for so long that I don’t know how or where to meet women, let alone how to open things up and make the first move.
    I spend a lot of my time at work and I am not looking to start a relationship with a coworker, but where do I go to meet people in a small college town? When I do, how do I make that move? Any feedback is appreciated.

    whitney0586
    whitney0586
    Participant
    September 9, 2018 at 1:06 am #183801

    I know you mentioned you lived in a small town, but have you tried any dating apps? Does your school offer any clubs you could join or an intramural sports team? I always feel like there’s so much pressure on guys to make the first move, so I can only imagine. Maybe you could start off with a compliment if you see a girl while you’re out at a bar or something?

    Woozy
    Woozy
    Participant
    September 10, 2018 at 8:17 am #183805

    I appreciate your response. I guess part of the problem is that I’m already graduated, and most of the women here are students. It’s tough in this town to meet people who aren’t out to party or aren’t too busy with school to get into a relationship. Att 24, I’m in this weird limbo state between “townie” and student-age. To make matters more difficult I work at the school so there’s a grey area / unspoken taboo around dating students.
    I may just have to try dating apps. I’m a bit uncomfortable with it because I’ve never done it before, but as far as making that first move and meeting people who share my mindset goes, it might be the only option.

    lostinlife
    lostinlife
    Participant
    September 10, 2018 at 4:29 pm #183912

    It sounds like you’re ready for another relationship, and I would say dating apps would be the most efficient way to do that, or any sort of dating social you might be able to go to (e.g. speed dating/mixers/etc.) Personally, I’m a big fan of making friends with guys and then potentially moving on from there, but that can take months or years, & if it doesn’t work out then you’re potentially losing that friendship.

    In terms of “making moves,” if you are clicking with someone, I always find hand-holding a really cute and subtle first move (gives the other person the option to either brush it off or if they don’t then you know they’re interested). Also buying drinks or just finding subtle ways to sort of hint at being interested without overwhelming someone or forcing a response. And if someone doesn’t respond or reciprocate to these moves, then they’re probably just not interested. (Not sure if this really is helpful at all with what you asked, but yeah, best of luck to you!)

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    September 13, 2018 at 7:12 pm #184243

    Your last relationship began when you were a teenager. You’ve never dated as an adult.
    College towns have plenty of young women who would love to date a guy in his 20s.
    You can sign up with a couple online dating sites/apps, go out for happy hours, and dance clubs.
    At this age and stage in your career you shouldn’t be looking for a wife so just enjoy being single and the dating scene.
    If you meet someone special things will naturally progress into something more serious. For now just have some fun!

    You didn’t mention if you have any single male friends.
    Most guys in their 20s have a “wingman” to hit the nightlife with.

    If there are any major metropolitan cities nearby you may want to spend some time there over the weekends.
    There are bound to be festivals, concerts, nightclubs/hotel lounges, and other places to meet singles your age.
    Last but not least you might sign up with Meetup dot com to meet people who have similar interests and hobbies.