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lcoste2ParticipantJanuary 10, 2019 at 12:56 am #192298
I have been dating this man for one year and we had talked about going to jazz concert, tickets cost $400. A week later my boyfriend asked me if I mind that he brings a friend, Mike. I said no, I don’t mind at all. My boyfriend- Ted, said he wanted to buy him a ticket and treat him.
The following week, Ted asked my how much do I feel comfortable paying for the ticket, I replied $400 and that is high for me. Ted said, okay can you venmo me your money and I plan on buying the tickets soon. I plan to pay for my guy friends, Mikes Ticket.
I was a little bothered by the fact that my boyfriend would take my money and then turn around and buy a ticket for his friend.
I couldn’t hold back, but had to ask him why would he take money from me, his lover, partner, and then turn around and buy a ticket for Mike.
What are your thoughts about this man?
BTW, I recently purchase tickets for my boyfriend and I to go to a festival, $200 each and I have not asked him to pay for that ticket.
lcoste2ParticipantJanuary 10, 2019 at 8:45 am #192301
What do you mean by Mexico will pay for the ticket?
dashingscorpioParticipantJanuary 10, 2019 at 10:27 pm #192411
Clearly you are being USED as a human ATM machine.
If you had an adult daughter or sister in this situation what advice would you give her?
If this is any indication as to how things have been going on for a year it’s time you moved on.
After a few months there should be some “give and take” when it comes to paying for dates.
There should never been an instance where one person expects their partner to pay for their friend. (In my opinion)
I mention (my opinion) because there really is no “right” or “wrong” concerning most relationship issues.
There is only “agree” or “disagree”. The goal in life is to find a mate who (naturally agrees) with YOU!
It’s pointless for you to fight about this as people generally don’t change unless (they) are unhappy.
Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
When (we) change our circumstances change.
“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde
The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world!
KT1987ParticipantJanuary 13, 2019 at 10:29 pm #192496
I would just ask why he’s paying for this friend. It could be that this friend has paid or done things for him in the past and he just wants to return. The favor
ReinParticipantJanuary 14, 2019 at 5:47 pm #192570
So if I follow correctly in this you paid for your ticket. He is buying his and a friends. I have a feeling he’s just repaying a favor his friend did on a different ocassion. Does he always ask you to pay? I’d expect The Who pays should be kinda fluid. For instance if you wanted to see a movie and you paid because it was your idea and then say he wanted to do wine tasting and he paid. This shouldn’t have a fixed answer and the question should be does any of it seem fair or are you being used.
Naples1276ParticipantJanuary 14, 2019 at 6:09 pm #192572
After a year it should be equal. Or your dating the wrong person !
yardyParticipantJanuary 15, 2019 at 6:55 pm #192676
Does Ted not have a job that he needs you to pay for all the tickets? Any sensible man would pay for his own / friend’s and maybe gf depending on how you both manage finances, but never take money from the gf.
Hollybear2013ParticipantJanuary 16, 2019 at 5:50 pm #192767
Did you find out if the friend had a “return favor” going on, it should be a mutual pay on both sides and if he expects you to pay for him again after this tell him you can’t that he has to buy his and you buy yours, especially if its not a give and take type relationship.
senior2k21ParticipantJanuary 17, 2019 at 9:20 pm #192907
I feel that it should either be split by the two of you, or maybe planned ahead by either you or your boyfriend. His friend should definitely not be the one receiving the benefits!
T0320ParticipantJanuary 18, 2019 at 1:48 am #192927
I think you should take turns
RuyParticipantJanuary 22, 2019 at 12:38 am #193080
Both people should pay.
ThynightParticipantJanuary 22, 2019 at 11:55 pm #193203
Talk to your boyfriend. Does seem strange you pay for yours, but he pays for his friends.
GJParticipantFebruary 3, 2019 at 3:07 pm #194060
Hello 1 coste2
I read your post and can understand why you would feel hurt. However it is very easy to miss the forest for the trees if we focus on the money. the money is only a tool that is used i certain ways. I would love to help you but I need some background information to give you the correct feedback. Kindly answer the following:
1. what is your age?
2. what is your boyfriend’s age?
3. What is your relationship history?
4. What is his relationship history?
5. Are the two of you intimate sexually?
6. How do you feel about your boy friend? The issue of choosing his friend over you is most likely not an isolated action in your boyfriends character.
7.. How else has your boyfriend disappointed you and hurt you in the past?
8. what attracts you to your boy friend and keeps you in the relationship?
I look forward to you response and continuing to give you my feedback
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