Why are looks so deceiving, yet so important?

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Why are looks so deceiving, yet so important?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2020 at 11:46 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    BellaMagic
    BellaMagic
    Participant
    January 13, 2020 at 10:04 pm #227740
    Why are looks so deceiving, yet so important?

    Here is the thing… I take a good pic. Mind, I do have to tilt my chin upward and wear make-up…and a wig…and…not let me teeth show too much or someone might clock the fact they’re fake, And, on dating apps I get lots of likes. I know if I set up a different account “as-is” I would be ignored. I would love to have a relationship but when I have to peel off the layers before bed, he would run a mile [if he can still run!] and well…that would end any speck of self-esteem I still have. I have never been able to go out and meet a fella. A man can have the same problems but most women will look at his personality more than his physical faults but I’ve not had that pleasure from gentlemen I’ve met since growing older. I know the problem is all me, not the man’s. Besides the usual “be confident in yourself” speech, any ideas? Any other ladies feeling this way? Gentlemen, any words of encouragement concerning women lacking not only self-esteem but their beauty as well?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 14, 2020 at 10:17 am #227753

    As cliché as it might sound the reality is “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.
    You mentioned you get “lots of likes” on dating apps and you say: “I have never been able to go out and meet a fella.”

    Even though you’re getting all of these “likes” no man has asked you out. Sounds like there is an issue other than looks.

    Based upon what you’ve said it’s difficult to know if (all men) would run away if they saw you in “the raw”.
    A lot of women wear wigs, extensions, and weaves these days. Almost every woman wears makeup.
    Most men also have their favorite physical attributes of women that “turn them on” (smile, breasts, legs, ass…etc.)
    A woman with a “rocking body” for instance and an average face usually has no problems attracting men.

    Also go to any public place; grocery store, movie theatre, park, beach, mall, or church.
    You are bound to see women of all shapes you feel are less attractive than you who have boyfriends and husbands!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 14, 2020 at 10:50 am #227765

    How are things when you meet men offline (in general) during everyday exchanges?
    Do they turn and run, avoid eye contact, or do they smile and are personable?
    Do you have any close platonic male friends? or Women friends? They might be able to give some insight.

    The truth is fat, skinny, and unattractive women/men date, fall in love, and marry like everyone else.
    My wife watches a TV show called: “My 600lb Life” and even most of those people have mates or spouses!

    Although you shot down the “be confident in yourself” speech clearly the above evidence shows it’s something other than looks.
    Usually if women are getting a lot of attention online from men they are flirted with and eventually asked out on dates.
    There may be a communication issue with your responses to men, something in your profile, or these guys fear rejection.
    Some men click likes and send emojis hoping {the woman} will initiate a conversation. Also try meeting men offline!
    (go out with friends to parties, sports bars, nice hotel lounges with music, or join a Meetup dot com group)

    billvm
    billvm
    Participant
    January 15, 2020 at 3:51 am #227830

    As a man, I believe in the online world, one’s photo is two dimensional. There is no third dimension; namely “depth”. One can look attractive in that instant when the picture is taken, sure enough. But in the real world, can we sustain that attractiveness. Neither man nor woman. But we do have that missing component: depth.

    Who you are. Your essence. Movement, the sound of your voice, the quality of conversation, advice, humor. Call it a soul, spirit, personality or the oft used term “chemistry”.

    How you look before bedtime or in the morning becomes irrelevant when the true you is discovered. When we really fall in love, we do so, not with a body or section thereof, but with the entire person. Most of all with that part of a person we cannot visibly see. Just as we cannot visibly see ‘love”.

    In the few times I have been attracted to a women, it was not facial features, attire, or bodily endowments. It was something I felt about that woman. It was not visual but rather a feeling.

    sarafinna
    sarafinna
    Participant
    January 20, 2020 at 9:07 am #228088

    In order to take pictures so you’re not being decieving I would first gain the confidence necessary by going to the gym being mindful of food intake and rembering that we are litterally what we eat, you eat something shitty, you’ll feel shitty. Own your picture and try to remeber that most peoples opinion are BS and filled with judgement because of their own insecurities.