Why do guys lead you on and then ghost you?

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Why do guys lead you on and then ghost you?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Amelia Loves
    Amelia Loves
    Participant
    March 23, 2019 at 5:17 pm #197486
    Why do guys lead you on and then ghost you?

    Can someone explain this to me, please. I went on a first date with a guy. He repeatedly complimented me, my looks, how smart, funny I am etc. We kissed very passionately and he suggested we should meet the next day. I agree. We arrange the time and place. He then makes sure I get home safe by booking me Uber, and then calls to make sure I got home safe. During the call he says, he can’t wait to see me tomorrow. Then sends few texts with hearts and flowers saying good night again. The next day, he texts me “good morning” …..and then disappears to the thin air. The time of the date approaches and I still haven’t heard from him, so I send him short text asking if we are still on. He replies hours after we were supposed meet up: “I didn’t have my phone with me”. That’s it! No apology, no explanation. It has now been 2 days of radio silence. I understand now, he has no intention of meeting up with me, I just don’t understand what on earth happen there.

    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    March 24, 2019 at 12:41 pm #197501

    What has happened in the last 24 hours since your posting ?

    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    March 24, 2019 at 12:49 pm #197506

    “I didn’t have my phone with me”
    Did you respond at all to that ?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 24, 2019 at 1:29 pm #197508

    First of all “ghosting” is done by both men and women!
    If you have any brothers, male cousins, or male friends they can tell you their stories.
    Ghosting is not something “new”. People have getting “stood up” on dates since the beginning of time!

    Back in the 80s I met a woman in a nightclub and the following weekend she was to come by my place.
    She called from work saying she was on her way and asked if it were okay to take a shower at my place.
    (There were no cell phones) It’s now 2019 and I still have not heard from or seen her! LOL!

    The only difference is these days people are {more sensitive} about such stuff.

    The thing about online daters is many of them don’t feel obligated to explain anything
    Odds are you are not the only woman he’s seeing or was in contact with.
    My guess is another “opportunity” presented itself with a different woman and he went with it.

    Had you not texted him he probably would not have told you anything.
    Avoid the mistake of emotionally investing too soon.

    Amelia Loves
    Amelia Loves
    Participant
    March 24, 2019 at 5:21 pm #197514

    No I didn’t. This text was hours after we were meant meet up, he didn’t apologise. I didn’t think it warrants reply

    Amelia Loves
    Amelia Loves
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 9:02 am #197515

    nothing …no contact between us.

    montana1965
    montana1965
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 11:01 am #197564

    I have trouble with him saying we were supposed to meet and then I don’t have my phone hmmm.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 2:52 pm #197591

    The real trouble you have is you were “stood up” on a date.
    Yes he lied to you but you should have been easily able to move on after only going out on (one) date.

    There’s nothing he could have said short of he was in the hospital or had a family emergency that would have pleased you.

    Truth of the matter is you should have been dating multiple guys as there was no commitment established.
    If you were job hunting you’d send your resume out to multiple companies and go out on multiple interviews.
    If things didn’t pan out with one company you wouldn’t obsess over it because you have other opportunities.
    Just as a great interview does not always lead to getting hired such is the same with a great first date.
    Another candidate or woman comes along and they focus is put on them. That’s life!

    Firing or dumping someone is always done at the comfort level of the person ending the relationship.
    We have no say in how people let us go in life. Move on. They weren’t right for you.

    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 11:35 pm #197631

    I would suggest letting him go and initiate no more contact. If he does get in contact with you again, i suggest waiting a few days before you reply back. Then keep it very short, and make it sound like you were very busy for the last few days/weeks and that this was the first open opportunity you had to reply back. Play hard to get. That is if he gets back in touch again.

    frankt
    frankt
    Participant
    March 25, 2019 at 11:39 pm #197632
    Reply To: Why do guys lead you on and then ghost you?

    Your response time should closely match his response time & the length of your messages should closely match the length of his messages.

    atchco2516
    atchco2516
    Participant
    March 26, 2019 at 5:50 pm #197699
    Reply To: Why do guys lead you on and then ghost you?

    He probably got tired of you, doesn’t like commitment. More than likely he wanted something new