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citofworldParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 7:54 am #123854
I started dating a guy in Spain last summer. When we met, we both knew I’d be going to London for a year. When I left, he said he wanted to continue “getting to know each other & see where it goes”. He initiated most of our contact, which became intense and daily. By Oct, he was making plans to visit. Suddenly, he backtracked and after a few days silecne said that I’d been gone too long and I was too far. I already had a trip booked to Spain for Dec and he said we should see how things go when we see each other then. He sporadically kept contact and days before my trip in Dec, he msged saying he wanted to see me, even for a coffee. I agreed but when I got there, he refused to. He eventually told me that he had started seeing someone else & it wouldn’t be fair on her to see me. He made it clear he didn’t want more with me. Now He keeps contacting me & got upset that I don’t reply!! I finally told him I’m trying to respect his decision & it hurts to talk to him. Why does he contact me??
richiroParticipantJanuary 20, 2017 at 11:12 am #123899
he’s a narcicisst that’s why.
also, his interest in being in contact probably mirrors how his dating life or relatioship is going. If its going well – no time for you. if it’s not going well – now he wants to contact you.
he’s trying to keep you interested enough to always have you as an “option”, which means he isn’t that serious about you. the distance in this case i’m sure hurt a lot and he’s just not the type of person who’s disciplined and committed enough to have an LD relationship (most people aren’t).
move on. you’l get nothing from this guy and even if you ended up dating at some point – he’d be just as flaky and probably leave you just as easily if he met somebody else.
move on. let him go.
Sw00nParticipantJanuary 23, 2017 at 9:06 am #124013
Hes trying to keep you as a back up incase things go south with his relationship. he hopes & wants you to keep your mind on him while he has his cake and eats it too. If he cant respect that ut hurts you to keep in contact with him and he doesn’t care, then thats definitely whats going on.
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