Why Does She Still Have Tinder If We Are Exclusive?

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Why Does She Still Have Tinder If We Are Exclusive?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2018 at 1:38 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    October 11, 2018 at 7:27 am #186746
    Why Does She Still Have Tinder If We Are Exclusive?

    Hi everyone, I recently met this great girl named Valerie and have been seeing her for seven weeks.

    We talk everyday and have amazing sex. Although we are not a couple yet she is aware that I am exclusive to her and expect the same. She has met my family and I have met her mom. We are planning a vacation together for November. She considers us friends with benefits but we spend more time together then regular couples do. She also mentioned that she is not over her ex yet who she met on Tinder and broke up with 3 months ago. She gave me a timeline of 6 months to let me know if she really wants to get serious with me. Our deal is to be mutually exclusive to each other during this time.

    Now what really bothers me is that she still has a Tinder profile. She told me she doesn’t go on it anymore and doesn’t reply to any messages. Why keep it open then? Anyone encounter this before? I would appreciate any advice.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 11, 2018 at 11:34 am #186816

    “Although we are not a couple yet she is aware that I am exclusive to her and expect the same.”
    That’s a contradiction. The term exclusive usually means you’re a “monogamous couple” in a relationship.

    Four Huge Red Flags

    1. “She considers us friends with benefits…”

    2. “She also mentioned that she is not over her ex yet…”

    3. “She gave me a timeline of 6 months to let me know if she really wants to get serious with me.”

    4. “Now what really bothers me is that she still has a Tinder profile.”

    This woman has told you in several different ways that she does not see YOU as being “the one” for her.
    Anyone that puts you on hold/in limbo for 6 months to “decide” if they want to get serious is not {emotionally invested}.
    Add to the fact on some level she wants her ex back it’s clear you’re a REBOUND lover.
    They broke up 3 months ago and you’ve been with her for 2 months.
    Her Tinder file is active for one reason: She’s keeping her options open as should you!

    Morouge
    Morouge
    Participant
    October 11, 2018 at 2:05 pm #186852

    It sounds like she’s keeping you on the line pretty selfishly until something she thinks is better comes along. You’re worth exclusivity. If that’s what you want, don’t settle for what she’s giving you. Be upfront about wanting to be her only person. If she can’t do that for you, you are so much better off finding someone who will.

    MiaSara
    MiaSara
    Participant
    October 12, 2018 at 12:23 pm #186932

    She kept her online profile active because she is still keeping her options open. I would not be exclusive with anyone UNTIL the profile is down. Her comment of waiting 6 months to know if she wants to be serious is a bit telling. It doesn’t sound like this woman is as serious about you as you are about her. I think clear clear communication is important here. Tell her what you want and see if she wants the same.

    gamakichi
    gamakichi
    Participant
    October 13, 2018 at 12:57 pm #186986

    Her actions are a little confusing ‘cause she clearly stated she sees you as a friend with benefits, yet youve met each other’s families and are planning a vacation together. I don’t think she even knows what she wants yet. I would tell her, “I really like you and I’m looking for a committed relationship, but it looks like you don’t really know what you want yet. So, I’m gonna back off and give you some time to think about what you really want, and if I’m still around, you know where to find me.” You’re showing her that you’re setting a standard for yourself, and by saying “if I’m still around”, it sends the message that she can’t take you for granted and you won’t wait around forever. If she comes back to you wanting a committed relationship, congratulations. If not, then she wasn’t the one for you and move on. (Credit for the quote goes to Matthew Hussey)