Why don't guys approach me on the street anymore?

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Why don't guys approach me on the street anymore?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2018 at 1:36 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    matchalatte
    matchalatte
    Participant
    October 8, 2018 at 10:02 pm #186444
    Why don't guys approach me on the street anymore?

    I used to be approached by men a lot while I was in college (they weren’t always attractive though). Few years later (I’m still young and still look young) but I never really get approached on the street. I’m not an ugly person, I dress very well (stylish), people stare at me all the time. But no one approaches me anymore. Why????

    Also, does anyone know any good places in NYC where I can have an alcoholic beverage or tea by myself without looking like a weirdo? I don’t think it’s very common for women to have a drink by themselves unless they’re traveling or are much much older. I’ve done this a few times and people stare at me, some women wonder about my age which is annoying. I just happen to look young

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 9, 2018 at 12:44 pm #186511

    We’re living in a totally different social climate these days.
    #MeToo/#TimesUP have made the use pickup lines, sexual innuendo, and overt flirtation “horrible acts”.
    Many people define sexual harassment as the making of {unwanted} sexual advances or obscene remarks.

    Most men today are primarily looking for “signs” of flirtation {from the woman} to indicate she might be receptive.
    If a woman doesn’t come off as appearing friendly/approachable (most men don’t want to risk rejection.)

    There was a time when teenagers participated in heavy petting in the back seat of a car on dates.
    Maybe the first date a girl might let a boy get to “first base” but stop him from going further.
    On the second date she might let him get to “second base” and stop him from going further.
    If the relationship evolved eventually they’d have sex and if it didn’t they’d move on.
    Neither the boy or girl would imagine those dates consisted of assault just because the girl stopped the boy.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    October 9, 2018 at 12:58 pm #186514

    As for going out to have a drink alone you can do that at most (nice) hotel lounges or bars.
    This is especially true if you sit at the bar or get a booth.

    However the real issue you need to overcome is to stop looking around to see who is looking at you!
    The minute you stop giving a damn about what other people think you’re FREE!

    A single man going into a bar doesn’t look around to see if people are staring at him.
    Women will never truly be equal to men until they STOP caring what others think of them.

    When I was single I use to go into bars alone all the time, have drinks, talk with bartenders, DJs, without any concerns.
    Even now if my wife doesn’t want to see a movie I’ll go alone in a heartbeat.

    Life is a (personal) journey.
    The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world!

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 9, 2018 at 8:52 pm #186566

    without knowing your body language, look, and personality – its impossible to tell. the one thign i can say though is – beware of your thoughts and subconscious. often times people can FEEL your vibe and what’s really going on inside even if you think you’re hiding it well or putting on a good face. Sometimes that vibe could be of desperation, neediness, etc. or just negativity.

    i would recommend just forgetting about being approached. hell maybe do some more approaching yourself! (ask guys.. they LOVE women who have no problems approaching us). have a good time and just enjoy whatever you do have and are doing and don’t worry about what’s NOT happening and you’re NOT doing.

    as for drinks alone – i agree – again DON’T worry about how you look or what people think… (that’s a negative vibe people stay away from). just enjoy each moment for what it is … the rest will happen then.