Why is it my boyfriend and I can't break the cycle???

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Why is it my boyfriend and I can't break the cycle???

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2019 at 4:34 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    cyclesaround
    cyclesaround
    Participant
    August 28, 2019 at 7:11 am #206222
    Why is it my boyfriend and I can't break the cycle???

    My bf and I love each other and been together for many years, but there has been brief periods I’ve left him – like a repetition of sorts every year or so; I get really fed up with him lying about his money issues and then I leave him but then after short time we really miss each other and reconcile. He can be very self centered but other times he very good to me and my family and very sensitive. Recently after he lied again, I thought it was the final time, enough is enough but as I was breaking it off he said you know we will be back together in a few weeks so why bother? We have some things coming up together like a wedding, a beach vacation, etc. and he was really pissed that I was doing this right before these events and very concerned about what “others” thought so out of guilt I’m meeting him at the end of the family beach vacation for a day or so. He can be verbally abusive sometimes and he can’t stand the idea of me being with another man. Is this love or possessiveness?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    November 5, 2019 at 9:31 am #224683

    “I’ve left him – like a repetition of sorts every year
    “I get really fed up with him lying about his money issues..”
    “I was breaking it off he said you know we will be back together in a few weeks so why bother?”
    “I’m meeting him at the end of the family beach vacation for a day or so.”
    “He can be verbally abusive…”

    Look if you really thought YOU could do better you would have moved on (for real) a long time ago.
    Women who keep expecting a man to “change” are the ones who actually need to change themselves!
    If you went to a restaurant and the food was nasty you wouldn’t keep going back.
    Figure out why you keep choosing to invest more time with a guy whom you feel needs to change in order for you to be happy. No one is “stuck” with anyone. Suffering is optional.

    When we change our circumstances change.

    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
    The goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with.
    Use the no contact rule for a year.
    Let go and move on. Block emails, delete phone numbers, and unfriend in social media.